Category: Relationships

When I first started working at Texas Instruments I was always late. I had a terrible commute on 380 when they were converting it from one lane to three. Sometimes I would get to work 15 minutes early and other times I would be 15 minutes late.

I was one of the top employees in the Help desk, but they were very strict about being on time. I knew they weren’t going to fire me so I just kept being late and thinking it wasn’t a big deal. One day my boss pulled me into the office and said, “Eddie, we want you to be a team lead, but you are late about 2-3 times a month.” To me that wasn’t a big deal, but to him it was. I learned that all of my hard work was negated by my inability to show up to work on time.

So I moved closer and removed tardiness from my list of attributes. I’m on time now when it matters in my business and personal life.

Now, I have a roommate living with me and when he first moved in he folded all of my laundry. Two large loads of everything from towels to my underwear. I’ve got no shame in my underwear game and so I didn’t care, but later he overflowed the trash with his 2-liter bottle and KFC trash and he constantly leaves lights on. I recently got two $500 electric bills out of the blue and so I am an electricity Nazi now and even if I didn’t get a huge bill there is no need to be wasteful. I finally told him, folding my clothes is nice, buying batteries for the remote is awesome, but all of those things are negated by the fact that you let the trash overflow, leave lights on, leave the dryer door open (which has a light inside) leave the ceiling fan on, etc. I don’t like to lecture, but sometimes you have to tell people your expectations. I don’t expect much, but I do expect at least the bare minimum. The normal standards of decency and respect. The picking up your dishes off of the coffee table after I took the time to cook dinner for both of us.

It’s a fine line sometimes to balance between letting someone know what you want and nagging, but if you are being nagged then maybe you need to take a look at yourself and see if you don’t deserve it you big electricity wasting slob.

On an up-note I do enjoy having a room mate, it’s good to work through things with someone, living alone can often makes us selfish and inflexible. We get set in our ways and we expect everyone to follow them, including a possible significant other.

Also, if you aren’t getting that promotion at work you think you deserve, then take a look at yourself and make sure you are doing at least the bare minimum.

1. Shut your fat mouth. No one likes a boring Chatty Cathy.
2. Listen to what other people say.
3. Compliment – everyone loves to have nice things said about them, but make sure the compliment is sincere, legit, and meaningful, as in “Man you sure are tall” is not a meaningful compliment, that is an observation and might get you labeled as a “Captain Obvious”.
4. Time – when you spend time with someone it shows them they are worthy of one of the most valuable resources each of us has.
5. Do Something – when was the last time you ever saw someone that was really popluar that didn’t do anything exceptional?
6. Be Generous – No one likes a tightwad. If you can’t afford to buy someone a nice gift, then spend what you do have, time, creativity, thoughtfulness – any or all of these will do.
7. Be responsive – communication is great, but it is only affective when you get a response. Delaying a response to an invite may keep you from being invited again. This is a strategy that may be employed when trying to avoid accepting an invitation, but it is much better just to respond with a “No”.
8. Serve – it is rare that people are willing to give freely of their time and service, so rare that people will normally be baffled at your willingness to do something for them without expecting anything in return. However, before offering your service make sure you are competent at what you are offering, there is nothing worse than someone who offers to help only to spend more time training them than actually getting your work done.
9. Be Teachable – Don’t be a know-it-all – sometimes people want to share something with you that you may already know. Don’t interrupt them and say, “I know”, maybe instead allow them to finish and then say, “Sure, I’ve heard of something like that before” or just ask them a question about it that will further educate you on the subject.
10. Be Independent – there is nothing worse than a friend who is a constant burden. It’s one thing to help someone in an hour of need, but a lifetime of need is exhausting. Sometimes you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and solve your own problems.
11. Be positive – don’t whine and complain all the time about anything and everything.
12. Be interesting – if you don’t have something interesting to say, then think of interesting questions, or be interested in what others have to say. People like it when you act interested in them.
13. Humor – hands down this is the best way to be well-liked. Everyone loves a good laugh and if you can’t make a good joke then be sure that you are at least able to laugh at yourself. NEVER take yourself too seriously.
14. Be humble – arrogance is annoying.
15. Be confident – confidence is something people pick up on, you don’t have to tell someone over and over, “I am good at….” instead, let them see for themselves. When it comes to confidence actions really do speak louder than words.
16. Have your crap together – smell good, occasionaly wear nice clothes, understand what is going on in the world to some degree. Take care of yourself.
17. Bloom where you are planted – I saw this quote and loved it. So often we get stuck somewhere we hate and instead of making the best of it, we make the worst of it. Instead, bloom, use that adversity to challenge yourself and if that doesn’t work then uproot yourself and change your circumstances.
18. Say Thank You – there is something wonderful about being appreciated. If you can’t reciprocate, be sure to appreciate.
19. Be Respectful – If we respect each other and our surroundings then everyone has a better quality of life.
20. Read Posted Note religiously.