Reason #7
I can swing you around by the arms just like your daddy did when you were a kid. Now who doesn’t remember crying out- Swing Me! Swing MEEEE!
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Reason #6
I am big enough to provide shade for a small Chinese family.
Reason #5
I can show you the difference between a double-click and a single-click in just 8 simple steps.
Reason #4
When you are lost, I will find you, and if I can’t find you, I will make really loud monkey noises until you hear me. People always hear my monkey noise and they know immediately that it is me.
When you are tired, I will pick you up gently and hoist you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, then I will plop you down wherever you want, or, I might just hold you like this forever…