The Problem
Announcer Bob: Good Evening Eddie! Welcome to Dygestional Dysfunction, the hilarious new game show that turns you inside out!! (Crowd cheers wildly)So tell us a little bit about yourself Eddie, starting with what you had to eat today!Eddie: Well, for Breakfast I had these eggs in the cafeteria, I thought they tasted funny, but I just covered them with ketchup and ate them anyway. For lunch, I had chicken salad and for dinner I had popcorn and peanuts at the movie theater.Announcer Bob: Wow! That is quite a combination, folks, it looks like today we are going to have quite a show. For starters take your pick door number one or door number two - no pun intended! (Announcer laughs at his own little joke)
Eddie: Well, Bob, I think I'll choose door number 1. Announcer Bob: Great choice! Behind door number one we have the hilarious DRY HEAVES!!Eddie: (Begins to wretch violently, his face contorts as his entire gastrointestinal system tries to force itself out of Eddie's esophagus. The crowd wretches sympathetically)Announcer Bob: Oh Look! That isn't all, along with the Dry Heaves comes Projectile vomit! (Crowd gasps in horror and delight)Eddie: Runs to the large toilet on stage and begins to hurl- repeatedly, his stomach a boiling cauldron of acid and bile.Announcer Bob: (buzzer sounds)
Did you hear that ladies and gentlemen? That is the sound of the BONUS BUZZER!! (more applause from the crowd) The Bonus Buzzer means you get what is behind door number 1 and door number 2!!!Eddie: Unable to speak Eddie only shakes his head, his forehead is covered in sweat, his body is cold and he is so sick he fears that he may need to call 911.Announcer Bob: Let's see what is behind door number 2 shall we!
Oh, Look - it's EEEEEEXXXXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA!!!! Let's see if Eddie can juggle the two of these simultaneously!Eddie: Like a contortionist from Cirque de Soleil Eddie manages to twist his rear onto the toilet quickly. It's like a solo game of twister as he places hands on each side of the toilet and holds on for dear life, then while not moving his hands he repositions his head over the toilet, back and forth and back and forth.
(The crowd oohs and aaahs in amazement)Announcer Bob: Look at him go folks! Looks like we have a real winner here, his digestive system is really dysfunked! Well, that is all the time we have for today, but as a parting gift, our contestants today will leave with a sore throat, indigestion, and the inability to eat or sleep for at least 24 hours, lets give them a hand!!So that way pretty much how my Friday and most of Saturday went... please tell me your weekend was better.
Eddie: Well, Bob, I think I'll choose door number 1. Announcer Bob: Great choice! Behind door number one we have the hilarious DRY HEAVES!!Eddie: (Begins to wretch violently, his face contorts as his entire gastrointestinal system tries to force itself out of Eddie's esophagus. The crowd wretches sympathetically)Announcer Bob: Oh Look! That isn't all, along with the Dry Heaves comes Projectile vomit! (Crowd gasps in horror and delight)Eddie: Runs to the large toilet on stage and begins to hurl- repeatedly, his stomach a boiling cauldron of acid and bile.Announcer Bob: (buzzer sounds)
Did you hear that ladies and gentlemen? That is the sound of the BONUS BUZZER!! (more applause from the crowd) The Bonus Buzzer means you get what is behind door number 1 and door number 2!!!Eddie: Unable to speak Eddie only shakes his head, his forehead is covered in sweat, his body is cold and he is so sick he fears that he may need to call 911.Announcer Bob: Let's see what is behind door number 2 shall we!
Oh, Look - it's EEEEEEXXXXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA!!!! Let's see if Eddie can juggle the two of these simultaneously!Eddie: Like a contortionist from Cirque de Soleil Eddie manages to twist his rear onto the toilet quickly. It's like a solo game of twister as he places hands on each side of the toilet and holds on for dear life, then while not moving his hands he repositions his head over the toilet, back and forth and back and forth.
(The crowd oohs and aaahs in amazement)Announcer Bob: Look at him go folks! Looks like we have a real winner here, his digestive system is really dysfunked! Well, that is all the time we have for today, but as a parting gift, our contestants today will leave with a sore throat, indigestion, and the inability to eat or sleep for at least 24 hours, lets give them a hand!!So that way pretty much how my Friday and most of Saturday went... please tell me your weekend was better.