Zoey, Uncle Eddo and Uncle Josh in the red shirt

Dave and his daughter Zoey

Dave - Eddo - Josh

Melinda - Jonathan - Cody - Amy - Eddo

Mona - Zoey - Eddo - Erika - Josh

Melinda - Dumas - Cody - Eddo - Dave - Josh

These are all friends who I consider family. I love doing the Turkey Trot and wish that my actual family would do it with me one year. It is so nice to do something on Thursday morning that is giving charitably and also active since the rest of the day is normally spent in a gluttonous stupor watching football. But don’t get me wrong, gluttionous stupor is one of my favorite stupors.

Thanksgiving for me started with the Turkey Trot and then ended with a mini all-guy high school reunion. Most of the guys I went to High School with were in town including one of our coaches and so we met up at Rudy’s Barbecue and caught up on everyone’s lives. Most everyone had kids and a normal job. Bruce was doing a fellowship in Plastic Surgery, Rick, the quarterback of our football team was now a coach and Chris, one of my favorite people from high school is now a youth pastor. What surprised me most of all is how much we are all still the same. I’m still the “nice” guy of the group and as Chris and our Coach left I heard some stories about what happened in high school that i never even knew about. Not being close to many of these guys really kept me sheltered from some parties and a few other things that happen with men in highschool. There was a time in my life when I would have envied these guys and their conquests and stories, but for once, I was sort of proud of my naiivete. Sure I’ve indulged in my share of debauchery, but for the most part I have remaned pretty clean in my 33 years.

One particular story that I thought was kind of cruel was the retelling of how this “ugly” girl was told that one of the popular guys was in crazy about her. Supposedly she called him for 3 weeks before finally giving up. There was a round of laughs because the joke was supposed to be on the football player, the fact that this ugly girl had his phone number, but no one gave any thought to the fact that there was a girl out there who was being hurt in this practical joke. 

I won’t pretend that I have not ever done something so cruel, but I can’t imagine looking back and not being sorry about it now. 

When I was in high school I remember I wanted to be more accepted by these guys, I wanted them to like me for me, but now that I am older I realized that would never have been a possibility. Not that I don’t think these guys on some level are all great guys, I just don’t know if their level of character meets my expectations. I prefer to surround myself that are better than me, that make me want to be a better person - because I can use all the improvement that I can get.

Hope your Thanksgiving was great!

We were standing on a bridge that overlooked a large black stagnate puddle of water. The small bridge led to no where and for the life of us we couldn’t figure out why someone had placed it where they had. It was metal and only wide enough for one person to cross.  The area was remote, there was no one around except for me, Luker, DW, Jimmy and Bob. Luke and I had ridden over in a slow golf cart and the other 3 guys were on a much faster cart. My plan: To steal the faster golf cart.

I climbed up on the bridge with look and looked back to realize that if I was sneaky and fast I could run to the faster golf cart and leave Bob, Jimmy and DW stranded. I started to sneak out of the trees and then I sprinted, while laughing hysterically, to the fast cart. I jumped in and slammed on the gas just as DW realized what was going on. He ran after me the golf cart barely eluding him. He ran faster but I was getting away. All the while I cackled and laughed at this coup.

I’m rarely sneaky, nor am I fast enough to better my slimmer opponents and this was a real triumph for me.

Later that day I played a couple of rounds of basketball. The first game Bob and I lost miserably to JJ and DW, but the second game I got JJ and he and I defeated Bob and DW. Once again I was delighted in my victory. I’m horrible at basketball, but for once, I was actually doing okay. I was getting lucky, making a few good shots, and in general holding my own. When we won, barely winning 10 to 9, I was elated.

In the last 2 years a group of us has gone to Selah Ranch to spend time together and with Jimmy who is in town from China. All of us, with the exception of JJ, have worked at Kanakuk Kamps and have known each other for over 10 years. It is a group that has a close bond and there isn’t a single person at these trips that isn’t a constant delight to be around.

I think my favorite part of these trips is that for one weekend I get to be “one of the guys” and not just with any group of guys but with some of the coolest guys I know. Most of my time I spend working, working out, reading, alone at home or with my roommate and it can’t compare to what it is like to be surrounded by qaulity friends who love God and who have a common bond.

These trips always make the things of this world seem superfluous. One day I’ll be in heaven without the need to be attached to my Blackberry or my worldly possessions. I won’t stress about being married or having children on endless amounts of bills. Instead I’ll be playing basketball, Ultimate Catch-A-Lot, and riding in golf carts with people that I love.

“What wrong Presh?” I asked my sister. I’d seen her upset, but never like this. She shook her head, tears streaming down her face and started packing her clothes.

“Mom and Dad are taking me to live with Eddie Daddy.” I couldn’t believe it.  What had my sister done that was so horrible that she needed to be shipped away?  It was a threat my parents had used before but not one that we ever expected them to implement.

My body shook with adrenaline. I hurt on the inside the the way I hurt when I saw my dog run over by a car. I wasn’t losing just a sister, I was losing part of me, my world, my safety net.

The three of us, my two sisters and I, sat in the room and cried.  I don’t remember my parents leaving with Precious, I just remember them being gone, my sister Dena and I alone all cried out.

I had always been a sensitive little boy and my sisters were extremely close to me. The three of us are only a year apart and we always did everything together. Unlike many brothers and sisters we rarely fought. We didn’t have a lot of toys and games, but we had each other and that was enough.

A couple hours later my parents returned and Precious was with them. They had used this little charade to get a point across to my sister but I had been devastated. For two interminable hours it was like my sister had died and then she had been brought back to life. I was elated at her return and furious with my parents at the same time.

That was 24 years ago and for the first time in my life I don’t feel close to either one of my sisters. I love them so desperately, but I feel like I’m all alone on an island screaming at them as they leave on ship taking them to someplace dangerous. They smile and wave from the ships deck laughing gaily not hearing my pleas or the desperation in my voice.  No matter the warning signs of trouble, they are lost in the fog and haze, blind to the reality of what lies ahead. 

I miss them. I wish they’d come back, but some journey’s you have to make yourself…

Walking away she looked even more beautiful. I liked that, that feeling of losing something, the feeling of something getting away - it made the hunt even more exhilirating. But she was losing me and I didn’t even realize it. One moment she was there and then… she was gone.

I looked for her again at her favorite watering hole. I set traps, I placed bait, but she never took it. She is gone for good, never coming back.

The two of us were actually made for each other, I know, because we are exact opposites and exactly the same. Driven, intelligent, unable to deal with the trivialities of this world and wanting to do everthing that we wanted to do and nothing else. It smacks of selfishness but really it’s a form of protection. A carefully constructed wall that keeps the riff-raff out and allows us to get on with our oredered lives instead of taking a chance on a new one.

People always tell me, “There are other fishes in the sea…” but we aren’t talking about fish now, are we.

It’s been over 6 months now and I still think about her smile, it’s warmth is quickly diminished by the memory of how she could be so cold. I miss her most because she was never mine and I wonder if she was, if I’d even miss her at all.

Look at John’s family, it makes me want to punch him in the mouf for being so lucky.

The Arquette’s aren’t nearly as pretty as John and Alison pictured above, but I’ve always had a crush on Monica from Friends - even though in this picture she looks a little mousy.

Okay, Dean and Tori are a beautiful couple. Tori never looked so good. I loved 90210, Kelly and Donna and the Peach Pit.

Hey, It’s Bill and Hillary Clinton… Couldn’t you just picture Hillary in a bathing suit by the beach reading a book in the Hamptons? It’d be one of those 1950’s bathing suits but bill would be wearing a speedo and surreptitiously checking out other women not realizing that Hillary has it all, brains and looks.

Guess Who… it’s Republican Presidential Candidate and his wife. Look at that bonnet she is wearing, it’s very demure and Little House on the Prarie - but I like it, who didn’t like Laura Ingalls?

And lastly, the beautiful Governor Palin who was Miss Wasilla a long time ago, whatever that means. This photo is from the beauty pageant. She’s what I’d call “A fresh-faced beauty”. I mean, who wouldn’t want to take this girl home to mama and then spend a lifetime with her?

The Meadows
The Cribbies
The Millers

Congrats everyone, I’m hoping for boys across the board!

I’m sitting at home after a 3 day trip to see a Kanakuk friend - Eric Holst. We only spent a summer together 9 years ago, but as anyone from Kanakuk can tell you that Kanakuk is a place that bonds people together forever no matter how far the distance or time.

I had read on Eric’s facebook post one morning that he was eating blueberry muffins and drinking Spunky Monkey Coffee. I left a comment that said something like, “I wish I was there…” without missing a beat, Eric responded with, “You should come down for a visit.”

That is really all it takes for me, within a few days we had it planned. I was to come down for the Minnesota State Fair on a weekend that everyone had off and so i did.

On Friday I arrived and dropped off my bags at their apartment at Bethel University and then promptly went to the State Fair. As soon as we got inside we stopped for a Pronto Pup which is like a corn dog but instead of corn meal they use flour. I devoured one quickly smothered in ketchup and mustard. We started to walk away and I said, “Um, guys, would you look down on me if I got another one of those right now?”  They laughed and said, “No Way!” The Pronto Pup is called “A banquet on a stick.” I laughed at that title at first, but after I had one I agreed. They were delicious.

Later that day I consumed a turkey leg, a malt, a chocolate covered pretzel, a large quantity of fries, a 32 ounce root beer, one fried green tomato, and at the end of the day we bought a bucket of warm chocolate chip cookies and then walked over to the stand where they have all-you-can-drink milk for just a buck. I got one glass, then went back and bought another glass so I would have two cups and then i got two more refills and so I overindulged with 5 glasses of milk and way too many cookies. It was heaven.

The next morning I couldn’t believe I was actually hungry.  When I woke up and went into the kitchen Eric was cooking eggs, bacon, and blueberry pancakes as well as some fresh brewed coffee. I was really surprised to see him so effortlessly cooking all of this food. I like to cook and I have never seen another man that enjoyed cooking as much, if not more, than I do.

After breakfast we went to a cool sculpture garden and walked around for a bit. We climbed on some sculptures even though there were signs that said, “Please do not climb on the sculptures” everywhere. Like big kids we played and then we went out for an AMAZING lunch of bacon cheeseburgers, fries and malts at a place called “The Convention Grill”.

After feasting at the grill we went to see the Minnehaha Waterfall and even waded into the creek. The water was really cold at first but after a while it became quite pleasant. On the way to Minnehaha Falls we drove by these beautiful homes that had so much character that I started to fall in love with Minnesota. However, Eric and Nikki said that the temperature in the winter averages around 16 degrees for 3 months straight and that alone will keep me from ever being a resident of the lovely state.

Saturday’s dinner consisted of some grilled steaks, squash, sweet corn and watermelon. We ate outside on picnic tables that were near a beautiful lake.  After dinner we sat in the iving room and talked and then eventually watched the movie 21.

Sunday was a simple continental breakfast of toast with peanut butter and honey, fresh peaches and watermelon and some more great coffee.

We went to church and then for lunch we went to this wonderful gourmet pizza place and had delicious pizza and a piping hot artichoke dip. After lunch it was off to the Mall of America - the largest mall in the U.S.A and then finally back to the airport where it was time to return home.

The entire trip was a good time. Eric and Nikki have two cute kids that are 2.5 and almost 4 years of age. They were fun little chatterboxes that kept things lively and I couldn’t help but think that Wyatt was cute even when he was throwing a fit.

I told Eric that out of all my weekend excursions that this one had moved to the top of the list for “The Most Fun in a little over 48 hours award”.  I was serious, I mean, we packed so much fun, good conversation, and great food into such a short amount of time that they quickly moved to the top of the list.  Not that there really is a list, but if there was…

So on the way home to round out the great trip I spent the 90 bucks to upgrade to first class. No one was sitting beside me and the two hour flight home could not have been more enjoyable.

Thanks Eric and Nikki for a great weekend, i hope to come back someday soon! (After the freezing cold… for sure)

How many women do you know what would make this sacrifice? (If you are out there and single, please post a comment immediately and include your phone number.)

As someone who has worked a myriad of Love, Sex, Marriage conferences I must admit that when it comes to Christians and Sex there are a lot of unanswered questions. Even more, it seems that sex is  quite possibly the one thing that men and women have in common that is often misunderstood - a need for intimacy without the fear of rejection.

I’m not married so I can’t even begin to understand what happens between couples after the rings are placed on fingers and the “I Do’s” are uttered, however, it doesn’t take a Sex Therapist to tell you that when it comes to intimacy our world is f*$*K’d up - literally.

So you married people, this book seems to be a challenge to all of you out there to step it up and as the author of the book says repeatedly, “It’s not a book about sex, it’s a book about marriage.”

As far as “The Gift” is concerned, I am sure that while we’d all like to chuckle and jab, in the end it is obvious that all of us could probably learn a thing or two from Charla and Brad.

My step-dad would pound on the door, but it was locked tight. I would peek under the door to see if I could see his shoes, yep, he was still out there. We’d stay in the bathroom for what seemed like an eternity. My step-dad wasn’t trying to hurt us, he wanted to tickle us. The strange thing, however, was that there was this mixture of real fear mingled with the excitement and dread.

My first full memory in life is one in which I am riding in a car and leaving home. For some reason there is a part of me that knows that this trip is different, that we won’t ever be going back.

We stop in front of a house, get out of the car and I traipse up the lawn in my underwear struggling to hold on to my green blanket. Inside the house there is a man sitting on a brown tweed couch. He smiles a big toothy smile that is wrapped in a foo man chu. He scares me. I poke my head out from under the blanket from time to time, but I’m frightened and the blanket is the only thing that I had making me feel secure. At the time I didn’t realize that this man would be my new dad. This man, whose face I remember perfectly clear, immediately replaced my biological father.

Before this point in my life I have very few memories. There are flashes of a house and my Aunt Ordelia who watched us. I remember her sleeping on the couch, her large black body just piled up and snoring. I remember the hair oil, the way it smelled, but I don’t remember my real dad at all whatsoever. There are no images of him holding me, no snippets of his voice, no lingering sense of his presence. It is a black hole that no matter how far I venture into I still come up empty.

My mom met my new dad at Jack-in-the-Box. She was only 23 and he was the manager. “I didn’t like like him at all at first, I thought he was a womanizer.” I remember my mother saying. “He would always come in and kiss all the women and they would be fawning all over him…”

The interesting thing about my step-dad is his ability to be two different people. Like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde he could flip a switch and become so very kind, but when he was upset he become something else altogether. He threatened once that if he found the kitchen counters dirty he would make us lick them clean. He never did, but I believed his threat.

Once I got whipped for letting the water run while I was washing dishes, without hesitation I got hit with the wire end of a fly-swatter, before I could even explain why the water was still running I felt the sharp sting of metal against my bare legs.

Sometimes, we would all get the silent treatment. The scraping sounds of forks on the plates was all that was heard at the dinner table. I hated these moments. Hated how unfair my dad could be and how unreasonable. I hated that my mother had to put up with it at times. it was like we could never be ourselves and that part of us was always hiding from him.

Over the years my step-dad and I have had a very rocky relationship. His quick temper and high-expectations made him nearly impossible to please. Now, we’ve overcome a lot of the past, I love him very much and we are close, but there are still doors shut tightly between us and I don’t know if I will ever be able to fully let him in.

“Somebody’s knocking should I let him in
Lord it’s the devil would you look at him
I’ve heard about him but I never dreamed
He’d have blue eyes and blue jeans”