Thanksgiving for me started with the Turkey Trot and then ended with a mini all-guy high school reunion. Most of the guys I went to High School with were in town including one of our coaches and so we met up at Rudy’s Barbecue and caught up on everyone’s lives. Most everyone had kids and a normal job. Bruce was doing a fellowship in Plastic Surgery, Rick, the quarterback of our football team was now a coach and Chris, one of my favorite people from high school is now a youth pastor. What surprised me most of all is how much we are all still the same. I’m still the “nice” guy of the group and as Chris and our Coach left I heard some stories about what happened in high school that i never even knew about. Not being close to many of these guys really kept me sheltered from some parties and a few other things that happen with men in highschool. There was a time in my life when I would have envied these guys and their conquests and stories, but for once, I was sort of proud of my naiivete. Sure I’ve indulged in my share of debauchery, but for the most part I have remaned pretty clean in my 33 years.

One particular story that I thought was kind of cruel was the retelling of how this “ugly” girl was told that one of the popular guys was in crazy about her. Supposedly she called him for 3 weeks before finally giving up. There was a round of laughs because the joke was supposed to be on the football player, the fact that this ugly girl had his phone number, but no one gave any thought to the fact that there was a girl out there who was being hurt in this practical joke. 

I won’t pretend that I have not ever done something so cruel, but I can’t imagine looking back and not being sorry about it now. 

When I was in high school I remember I wanted to be more accepted by these guys, I wanted them to like me for me, but now that I am older I realized that would never have been a possibility. Not that I don’t think these guys on some level are all great guys, I just don’t know if their level of character meets my expectations. I prefer to surround myself that are better than me, that make me want to be a better person - because I can use all the improvement that I can get.

Hope your Thanksgiving was great!

When I was really young I went trick or treating one time. I was batman and I had one of those hideous plastic masks that you strapped to your face with a piece of elastic string that invariably stung when it was snapped into place and then the mask limited your breathing and visibility. That year I truly was “blind as a bat.”

Soon after my first trick-or-treating experience we became Christians and we shunned everything in the world that smacked even remotely of sin or wickedness. This was a part of Christianity that I wasn’t too happy with at such a young age. To be stripped of this delicious priviledge - a night of free candy and fun costumes - was about as cruel as being born in a third world country and forced to grow my own food. It was so unfair!

Fortunately, the Christian church created fall festivals for those of us kids who didn’t partake in this forbidden candy apple and we were allowed to dress up as Biblical characters and spend the night in a safe environment surrounded by parents, friends and God.

I didn’t lament my loss of Trick-or-Treating as a child and fully understood the evils that surround All Hallows Eve. If you know anything about religion and history then you may know that the Christian church merged our holidays with the pagan holidays. If you can’t beat them, join them right? I’d heard of this practice but I had never seen a Wiccan holiday calendar until one day at work I saw it on a coworkers screensaver.  Easter, Christmas, and Halloween are the most obvious collaborations and we can look at each of these and see the Pagan influence.

If you look closely at Halloween you will find that for Wiccans this is their new year.

“Samhain (Sow-win, Oct. 31), Witches’ New Year, marks the death of the God and his the arrival in the Land of Youth, where he opens the gates so the souls can revisit their loved ones. It is said to be the day when the walls between the worlds are to be the thinnest and when contact with one’s ancestors can tack place. It is celebrated with the Festival of the Dead. This is a time of reflection on the year and a celebration of our ancestors.

So, there you have it, a holiday that celebrates witchcraft but one that we’ve slapped a bag of candy on and turned into something sweet. I’ll admit it, when it comes right down to it I don’t see anything wrong with trick-or-treating, it is the intent behind an action that makes it bad, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t educate my children to the truth and the dark side of this nefarious holiday.

Personally, I like to celebrate this time of year by celebrating the coming of Fall. You might see a pumpkin at my house and some fall colors, but you won’t see anything that is specifically tied to Halloween.

What are your thoughts on the matter?

Look at John’s family, it makes me want to punch him in the mouf for being so lucky.

The Arquette’s aren’t nearly as pretty as John and Alison pictured above, but I’ve always had a crush on Monica from Friends - even though in this picture she looks a little mousy.

Okay, Dean and Tori are a beautiful couple. Tori never looked so good. I loved 90210, Kelly and Donna and the Peach Pit.

Hey, It’s Bill and Hillary Clinton… Couldn’t you just picture Hillary in a bathing suit by the beach reading a book in the Hamptons? It’d be one of those 1950’s bathing suits but bill would be wearing a speedo and surreptitiously checking out other women not realizing that Hillary has it all, brains and looks.

Guess Who… it’s Republican Presidential Candidate and his wife. Look at that bonnet she is wearing, it’s very demure and Little House on the Prarie - but I like it, who didn’t like Laura Ingalls?

And lastly, the beautiful Governor Palin who was Miss Wasilla a long time ago, whatever that means. This photo is from the beauty pageant. She’s what I’d call “A fresh-faced beauty”. I mean, who wouldn’t want to take this girl home to mama and then spend a lifetime with her?

He made a comment on Monday, “you have this kind persona, but beneath there is a real stubbornness.” 

 Intuitive he is. I don’t even remember what we were talking about, but it was in the first 5 minutes of our conversation.

The interesting thing was that he was dead on.

I was chatting with this girl at work (who is very pretty) and one day in an email she said something about her tooth being “bucked” and I had never even noticed it before - now I do.

There is a mole on my forehead right above my eyebrow and one day when I pointed it out to some friends they had never noticed it and if they had, over time they had forgotten about it as we so often do once we get to know people.

As a rule you should try to minimize the focus off of yourself as much as possible. People are so often consumed with their own short-comings that they don’t have time to notice yours and if they do, well, if you aren’t constantly fretting about it they will admire you for it. They will be like, “Look at her, even with that huge wart on the side of her face she acts like it isn’t even there… impressive.” And if they are still making physical judgements about you in their head it is because they need to put you down to feel better about themselves.

So hold your head high and concentrate on the person within because that person is what quality people remember.

So I’ve been learning more and more about myself each year and recently I realized that I keep repeating a series of bad behaviors. Was it Einstein who said, “The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing but expecting different results”? I think he said that. Whoever said it, they are right.

I’m sitting at El Chico across from Josh and I ask him, “Do you spend money every day?” He responded with a chuckle, “Yes”. I replied “Me too” with a knowing smile. You see, Josh and I seem to be part of the same club. We overeat, we over spend, we like to play and shun responsibility. We are so alike on so many dysfunctional levels that we could be brothers. I know him better than he knows himself because I’ve had 8 more years of experience. 8 extra years of running up high credit card bills and then avoiding phone calls from bill collectors. 8 years of binge eating and drinking to excess in the name of “good times”.

Even though I know what Josh and I have in common, even though I can pinpoint behaviors now and take steps to avoid them, I don’t know why we have this similar problem.

Our childhoods are very different. He grew up with money and was the oldest brother. He had a brother and two younger siblings. Both of our parents were divorced, but his divorced when he was 12, mine when I was 2. His dad was around when he was growing up, my read dad wasn’t. We sometimes barely got by financially, money was always an area of discomfort for us, but for Josh it wasn’t. He is white, I am multi-racial. So I don’t get it.

In Genesis Adam fell because of the Lust of the flesh, Lust of the eyes and the pride of life… boy don’t those sound familiar. I’ve been stopping and making mental notes of when I repeat bad behaviors and why they happen. It hasn’t helped me to stop making bad decisions here and there, but at least now I am aware of them and I can work on them. And maybe, just maybe, I can tell Josh how to overcome his problems by the lessons that I have learned. If I can at least help him maybe all of this hard work will be worth it.

Everywhere I turned there were cute girls, some bundled up in hoodies, some in those furry boots and jeans and a gorgeous black woman behind the counter where I was getting my student ID. She was so pretty I felt almost compelled to ask her, “What’s your sign?”

I imagined us sipping wine by a fireplace, what our kids would look like, and how she would sound when she laughed at my jokes.

I took my student ID and left the student union building. As I walked down the stairs I noticed a plethora of cuties. It wasn’t until this moment that I realized how working at TI and staying in my same circles that I am so very rarely exposed to attractive single 20 somethings - especially ones that are educating themselves.

Right now I am too busy getting training to be the next Football star, but in the meantime, while at Grad School, I’ll be enjoying the scenery.

Hey Boog, you’re 2 years old now and you are starting to really talk. When I took you to Halli’s 2nd Birthday party you repeatedly said “No” when I tried to put you in the bounce house. You would see the other kids in there and you would take your shoes off and start to climb in the entrance and then you’d get scared and start crawfishing quickly repeating “no, no, no, no, no, no, no,” and shaking your head as if I was trying to force you into a blender - head first.

Even though you never got into the bounce house you delighted yourself by pulling a wagon around the gym and when you got bored with pulling, you enjoyed riding. I don’t get to see you as much as I like and so I would have pulled you around that gym until my arms fell off.

When it was time for Halli to open all her presents you thought you would help. You found a ball that you thought might be yours and you brought it to me and said, “Ball”. I told you yes it was a ball but it was Halli’s. You seemed to be having so much fun that you didn’t mind putting the ball back, but when I wasn’t looking you thought you would steal a bow. I have to admit there were a lot of kids there but you were one of the cutest.

Later we played a game of hide and seek and at one moment you squeeled with delight and I pick you up so fast and hurled you… right into a light hanging from the ceiling. Uncle Eddie often forgets how tall he is and your head seems to take a beating everytime I am around. You cried and I felt so bad because we were having so much fun. But this is a good time for you to learn that sometimes life delivers a bump on the head even from someone that loves you so much that he would give you everything, even his life, to make you happy.

My favorite thing is still watching you dance. Dancing has always been something that has been such a special part of my life. When I am down I can always dance and the world disappears and I don’t remember bumps on the head or kicks in the butt. For a brief moment there is a calm and a serenity and so much joy. That is a gift and I am so happy that you like to dance because sometimes life is hard and sometimes an escape is good, even if it is for a moment.

Grandma calls me often and since you have been living with her you seem to be all that she talks about. You are a bright light in our lives and I never fully understood the power of a child. The sweet innocence, the simple joys in discovery and exploration, and how when you do something sweet, when you rub my face, or lean into me for a moment I feel like God himself has reached down and brushed my cheek and said I love you.

I will always be there if you need me.

Love,

Uncle Eddo