Category: Home

Judith pulled into her garage and left the car engine running as the garage door closed behind her. She thought how easy it would be to just lie there, still and quiet, allowing the carbon monoxide to just carry her away.

It wasn’t that her life was depressing, it was just that she was tired. More and more she felt like staying in bed as there seemed very little reason to get up. The things in life that once allowed her to escape from reality had lost their thrill, food became tasteless, people became an annoyance.

She shut off her engine and allowed the darkness to settle around her. Suicide was such a cowardly way to go and in comparison to the people around her she really had no reason to be bored with her life. She got out of her Camry and made her way into her house.

Without flipping a light on she dropped her keys on the kitchen table. They clanged loudly disturbing the silence but not bringing it fully awake.

Then Judith bumped into something and screamed. There was a man standing there in front of her. His face wasn’t dark and menacing, on the contrary it was warm and inviting. He pulled her toward him without seeming to move at all. One minute he was standing there and the next she was clutched tightly in his arms.”Don’t resist” He said.

His voice was deep and throaty and instead of fear she felt a twinge of excitement. Only moments ago she was thinking about death and now this? She felt her legs go weak as the man began to kiss her neck gently. Then he slammed her against the refrigerator, magnets and pictures fell to the floor as the assault continued.

Could this be happening? It felt like something out of a Lifetime made for tv movie. She couldn’t believe what she was feeling, joy, excitment, fear. She was suddenly turned on and without realizing it she was kissing back, greedily and lustily pulling off her attackers clothes. His eyes met hers and they was a break, a moment of hesitation as he sensed that the tables were being turned. He tried to pull away but Judith kept on pulling him toward her. She twisted and spun in such a way that pulled him to the floor and she fell on top of him.

She reached down between them groping for the buttons on his pants. She ripped his shirt open and bit his nipple. The intruder yelled in pain and tried to push Judith away but she held him down relishing the feeling of being in total control. She slapped his face hard and then kissed him devouring his face like Thanksgiving dinner.

When she pulled her mouth away from his she heard him saying something and shaking his head, “No, No, No”. The fear in his eyes seemed to ignite an animalistic need in Judith that she didn’t know she had. The power was all-consuming she reached up into the drawer and pulled out a knife and held it to his throat. With a single slice she cut his carotid artery and whispered, “Thank You”.

Judith sat quietly in the dark waiting for Mr. Parsons to get home. She held her breath and then pressed the cool steel of the blade to the side of her cheek. the cold cause her to gasp with shock. Before the intruder had come into her life she could feel depression lurking in the shadows waiting for a sign of weakness so it could swoop in for the kill, but she decided to show depression she wasn’t as weak as he thought. As she slid the knife into Mr Parsons heart she smiled at the thought of death and laughed…. life has a funny way of working things out and finally she had something to live for.

I like houses that have been turned into homes by years of wear and tear and clutter. I like that feeling of something being lived-in, but still taken care of.  What I love more than that is a house that has been lived in and taken care of by a woman.

I currently have snowman sheets on my bed. They are flannel and I keep them freshly washed in Lavender Vanilla soap and dryer sheets. They smell amazing, but they never compare to the sheets at the Bruner’s house or the Miller’s or my mom’s house. Those sheets always seem to smell like an angel washed them with a fragance you can’t buy at a store – love.

Recently I stayed at the McWhinney’s home in Holly Lake Ranch and even though there house was relatively new to them, it had all the elements of a home. There is something about the combined efforts of a man and a woman that seem to make a place special. There’s normally a balance of masculine and feminine and even if it borders on the feminine side I think that most men find that welcoming.

My house is a bachelor pad. I have minimal furniture, no family photos grace my walls, the countertops are barren in the kitchen. It’s exactly like I want it.

Right now my bedroom walls are painted with multiple swatches of color. I’ve got multiple projects going all at once and I’m finally getting the need to do things exactly my way out of my system. I love my home, but now I’m willing to give someone else a shot at picking the wall colors of my bedroom. I could use some help in narrowing down what type of flooring I want in the living room and what color of cabinets to put in the kitchen.

All of this is not saying that I’m ready to be married, but if I do get married, I’d now be ready to let someone come in and have their way with my space and that was something I wasn’t ready to let go of a few months ago. I needed this time to explore my ideas and to let loose with my creativity. Now I’m exhausted by the options and the futility of my efforts and I’m willing to admit that I’m not as good at this as I always thought I was.

So one day, I hope that this home and all the houses I have after this one, will have that “Lived-In” feeling where when people walk in the door they realize that this is where people live.  People who fight and cook and clean and love. Where people have friends stay over on clean sheets and when we say goodnight after a party our friends won’t want to leave.