Takes a Lickin’… Keeps on Tickin’

Two months ago I think I fractured my hand playing racquetball.

Two weeks ago I got hit in the face with a racquetball racquet.

One week ago I wrecked on my bike and scraped up my right knee.

Two days ago I tweaked my back so bad it hurts to walk.

It seems that at every turn I keep having these little problems come up… these setbacks that make me just want to throw my hands up and quit. But I won’t. I won’t go down that road, instead, I am going to laugh, although it might sound more like a mad cackle, in the face of adversity.

Health Shopping

Years of Stupidity

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought regular groceries. Chips, bread, milk, ingredients for spaghetti and chicken fried rice. I spent 34 dollars on about 15 meals worth of food.  I came home and whipped up a big batch of excellent spaghetti and then put it into individual containers so I could eat it the rest of the week.

So a little history here on why this is important…

For years I haven’t been buying groceries to eat at home because when I go to the grocery store I always buy healthy food and that is expensive and a good portion of the time it rots before I get a chance to eat it. However, I have no problem eating junk food when I am eating out. I love a good Burrito Ultima from Taco Cabana or a plate of chicken fried rice from the local Jade Palace. It’s quick and easy and I enjoy the convenience of eating out, however, we all know eating out gets very expensive. I started adding up my eating out budget and I realized that I spend a minimum of 1000 dollars a month on food and entertainment! Ugh. After I pay all my bills I have 2,000 dollars left over and I spend 1000-1,500 on playing. The rest goes to random expenses that come up, new underwear, a trip to visit friends, home repairs and decorations. I am literally eating and playing myself out of a future.

I enjoy eating at home when the food is good and so I decided that I would save money if I just made the foods I love at the house instead of allowing myself to eat them when I am out and in a hurry.

It’s weird to come to this conclusion after all these years. I mean I am pretty much the same now as I was 5 years ago. I seem to stay about the same weight, however, I also keep spending the same amount of money eating out. Well, yesterday that changed.

Diet Health Stories

Detox Day 18: Can You Believe It?

Yesterday I had a root canal and I almost went ballistic. The doctor was a real pain in the ass and kept asking me to be still. I wanted to grab him by the nutsack and squeeze and then say, “Be Still”.  When the procedure was over I was angry. Not because the tooth hurt while he was working on it, but the whole time my neck was hurting because of the weird angle that I was positioned at. Plus, this Doctor kept insisting that he force his entire fist into my mouth. “Wider” he said, “You got to give it to me.” After you hold your mouth open for that long it starts to involuntarily close or relax because of the pain.

I found this Edodontist on my healthcare provider’s website. He was the only one available to do the procedure on such a short notice. When I first met him I thought I was meeting some techno dance club owner, not someone who had spent a good deal of his life in the classroom. His head was shaved as smooth as Mr. Clean’s, he wore his shirt unbuttoned one button too far down and he had a gold chain hanging against his caramel colored skin. He was of an undiscernable ethnic descent, but if I had to guess I would say Mexipimpican, because he could have been Mexican or he could have been a pimp – or both.

I’m surprised that when the nurse laid me back in the chair that the doctor didn’t arrive with a purple mink hat and coat.  I can picture him wearing platform shoes and smoking on a cigarrette with one of those long sticks atttached to it. Right before the procedure he would turn on some James Brown and break it down to get me in the mood for my root canal. Both the procedures would prove to be unpleasant.

Yesterday was hellacious. After the root canal I single handedly pulled off a Department Meeting/Birthday Party. I put together 30 gift bags filled with candy and toys. Made large bowls of pineapple punch, purchased decorations, cupcakes, chips, popcorn, fruit trays, cookies and put together a PowerPoint presentation that would dazzle the Mata Hari.

By the time 5:00 had rolled around I had eaten nothing. For breakfast I had allowed myself a tall Cafe Latte. I don’t remember if I asked for decaf and was disappointed in this oversight. Latte’s are made with milk and yes, I know I am not supposed to have it, but I was about to have a root canal, I had just broken up with my girlfriend, my foot was still in a dang boot, and people, I was having trouble holding my stuff together. So I splurged and then didn’t eat for the rest of the day because my face was not in the mood.  Food kept trying to talk to me and my face was like, “no, nope, I’m not hearing it”.

While watching David Cook win American Idol last night I made some refried beans with a little bit of butter and olive oil and grilled onions. I ate it like a dip with chunks of fresh red pepper. It was really good.

Then I made the mistake of bringing home some leftover treats from the party at work. I brought them home for Josh, but the large bag of popcorn looked very tempting. I ate a couple of pieces and then devoured the entire 10 pound bag. Just kidding. I did eat a little bit, not so much that I worried about it, but I shouldn’t have eaten any at all. I blame stress again, and hunger. A tall coffee, a bowl of beans and red pepper are hardly enough food for a man of my size – or anyone for that matter.

I got up this morning and weighed 327.8 and so that little bit of popcorn made me gain .6 pounds. Haha. Just Kidding, I am sure that it is just a fluctation and tomorrow  I will be at 326. We’ll see.

On a more positive note, Fred has lost 6 pounds on his low carb diet in 3 days. Go Fred! Go over to his website and send him some encouragement. Diets are hard people.

Some people have asked me about the Dr. Natura and I have to admit I really don’t recommend it. It is so nasty and I don’t really notice and real positive affects. Maybe it’s working? Maybe not. Maybe it would work better if I was eating more?


My Stomach Empathizes with My Balls?

Do you ever watch Discovery Channel? I don’t, but I have friends that do and they can’t help but share every single detail that they learned with me. I mean, heck, I really probably could have made it through life with almost no formal education because everyone in my life is a teacher.

For example: Why is it that when a man gets hit in his genitals it hurts his stomach? Well, before puberty our testicles haven’t dropped and so they are up close to our stomach region. So post puberty the balls do their thing and drop, but the stomach still remembers them.

Why am I bringing this up? Because I was watching Scrubs and Dr. Cox got “man checked” by his son. A quick fist to the groin area and he was down for the count. Soooo, I thought I would be a teacher and share this piece of information with you, my beloved readers.

Diet Health Sports

Eddie Renz joins Texas Instruments’ Track Team

On Wednesday, March 5, 32 year old Eddie Renz joined the TI Track team. “I’m throwing shot put and discus, but I’d really like to train and run the 100 meter or 200 meter as well.” Renz said, albeit breathlessly, in a recent interview. This claim seemed unlikely since Renz weighs 340 pounds. However, the official meet isn’t until June and so he plans to start running now in an effort to be in shape for both events.

TI has won the USCAA national track meet for the last 7 years and plans to win this year as well.