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I ask important questions up front like, “Were you ever a dude?” and “Are you a Wiccan?”

I’m not sure if I posted on here about trying e-Harmony again in December of last year, but  I did. Surprisingly I was matched with very few women and the ones I was matched with weren’t a match at all.

What is it about online dating services that makes me feel like I am bargain basement shopping? It’s like I have this selection of women served up before me that are last year’s models or returned items that someone else didn’t want. I know what you are thinking: Harsh Much! But it’s true.

I’ve been trying for a month now and it seems that everyone they are matching me with is divorced. When did people start getting divorced in their twenties?

I’m probably being too judgmental or even unrealistic cause I know there are some amazing divorced women out there, but I sort of want to be my wife’s first husband. When someone has already been married then I feel like “Hey, you already had your turn, let some the rest of us have a shot!” gives me 5 new matches a day and most of the time I can look at their profile and tell if we would actually be a good match. I have talked to a couple of girls through email and I can’t help but be bored.

One girl said, “It’s torture for me to get to know someone through email.” And I wanted to respond back, “If that is the case, then you should give me a good reason to want to meet you in person. Be interesting. Be funny. Be witty. Charming. SOMETHING!” Snore.

I have a tendency to quickly write out a long email that gives insights into who I am and what I am looking for without coming right out and saying it. I ask important questions up front like, “Were you ever a dude?” and “Are you a Wiccan?” It’s important to get these questions out of the way at the beginning instead of finding out on the third or fourth date and you’ve already french kissed on the front steps of her lair.

I promise that I am not hardened or set in my ways, but the last 4-6 relationships, the girls I took out from e-Harmony, Wilbur Smith novels and the 33 years I have lived on this Earth have wizened me and enhanced my bullcraptometer.  Online dating services allow people to put their best foot forward on an online profile but I think it also attracts people that fall into these categories:

  • Desperate
  • Shallow
  • Married
  • Divorced
  • Perverts
  • Crazies
  • Hopeless Romantics
  • Gold Diggers

I’m sure that makes me sound jaded, but I’m just drawing a conclusion based on my own personal experience and observation. But I also believe that in every field full of weeds you can find a beautiful wild flower… Somewhere in this great wide world there is a woman who will understand my heart and see me for who I am – flawed, but awesome.  She’s out there somewhere and I plan to find her.


Down 7 Pounds

Weight Watchers seems to be working – slowly but surely. My goal this month was just to lose 8-10 pounds. If I can do that consistently for 12 months then I will be able to lose around 100 pounds and reach my goal weight of 265 by the end of the year.

The hardest part is keeping up with all the food I eat. A banana here and apple there a container of pudding every now and then followed by a piece of string cheese. Every single item counts, every delicious calorie, every teaspoon of olive oil – it all adds up.

The best thing about Weight Watchers is that I haven’t been all that great at staying within my point limits. On occasion I go over or there are days when I blow it altogether, but I think my diet is more balanced now and I eat a more fruit and vegetables than I ever have. I also love that I don’t have to deny myself food at a party or an event. Instead, I plan for that birthday bash by using my bonus points on those days and instead of having three pieces of cake I just have 1 and a half!

I’d like to lose 3 more pounds by January 31… but if I don’t I still feel pretty successful and this is new for me since my whole life I’ve measured my weightloss success by dropping huge amounts of weight in an unrealistic amount of time. If you’ve tried every diet on the planet, I encourage you to try this one. It might change your life.


Plano, Garland, DFW Area Personal Trainer

If you are in this area and you are looking for a great personal trainer, I recommend Pamela Micks. She does Kettlebell Classes as well as 1:1 fitness sessions. She actually competes in fitness competitions and is fun to train with.

Real Body Fitness

Pamela Micks
Certified Personal Trainer



Take A Look At Me Now

When I tell people that I am training to be a football player they always ask, “Well, are you training?”

I wish that you could follow me around for a couple of days and see what my life is like. I wake up and start working immediately, then I take lunch which is usally me eating alone and reading a Wilbur Smith or Dean Koontz novel.

When I get off work I like to relax for about 30 minutes after I change into my workout clothes. I like to eat before working out and so I find some food in the house or I go and pick somehting up. I then go to the gym. If I ride my bike to the gym then I don’t do cardio at the gym, I just lift until my arms hurt – until the pain in my rotator cuffs is so unbearable that I have to hug myself to deal with the pain. I do curls and back exercises until exhaustion. When I try to do one more rep of anything my triceps, biceps or back muscles immediately Charlie Horse and I know it’s time to stop.

In the morning I eat Kashi high-protein, high-fiber cereal. I drink 50 grams of a low-carb protien drink. I take fish-oil tablets that are supposed to help the joints. At night I drink a Nitric Oxide beverage that tastes like diet fruit punch cough syrup called Nano Vapor.

What’s in naNO Vapor?

naNO Vapor™ delivers clinically advanced anabolic growth factors, a unique neuro-amplifying matrix, cutting-edge thermogenic compounds, potent cell volumizing complexes, and a never-before-seen combination of vasodilators for a powerful, multi-angled approach to musclebuilding.

This is only the beginning. I’ve got so many more things to incorporate into my overall training plan, but I don’t want to over-do it. What I’ve learned from years of failure and success is that trying to do too much at the beginning is a sure way to incur severe burnout and I need to make this program work for me unlike any other program in the past.

One thing I also must mention – the Fish Oil Joint pills are working fantastic. After just a few days use I already feel less pain in my elbows and heels. I should have done this a long time ago, but better late than never!


Diet Stories

Dallas Desperado Tryouts Looming

As I prepare to become the next walk-on Desperado I find that my body is rising to the challenge. Just two weeks ago I started hitting the weights really hard. Last week I wanted to see if I could bench press 135 pounds 100 times – 4 sets of 25 reps, not all at once. On the 4th set I could only do 15 before my chest screamed out in agony and my triceps started to whine like little babies.

I thrust the bar back up the rack with a clank and hugged myself. I listened to “Closer” by Ne-Yo on my iPod while I geared back up for the final 10 reps. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… I pushed all the way through to 15 before I was forced to quit again.  My breath came in short gasps and so I focused on slowing it down. Deep inhalations followed by a slow exhale. I concentrated on the pounding in my chest and immediately could tell that the breathing exercises were working.

This week I added just 10 pounds. My goal is to be able to do 225 40 times non-stop by the time Desperdo tryouts get here in October. I picked up the 145 pounds and busted out 25 reps easily. The second set was even easier and is always the easiest because the muscles are warmed up. By the 3rd set I could start to feel the burn, the tearing down of muscle fibers and the build up of lactic acid. I continued to focus on my breathing and form and on the 4th and final set of 25 I pushed through with ease. 145 pounds 100 times isn’t a great feat, but what is great is to see how quickly my body is responding to the torture I am putting it through. Now it’s time to up the ante…

With just 2 months of training to go I have to increase my running, improve my diet, start taking post-workout recovery shakes, ice my joints, cool down in the hot tub and sauna, and if I really want to get serious I will start on a regimen of creatine and a host of other MuscleTech supplements that taste and smell awful but that over time I have found that they actually do work.

Last night I am talking to Attic Monkey about all of this and I tell him, “Dude, just imagine how much easier it would be to be a full time athlete. I’m doing all of this on top of working 40 hours a week at work, what if all I had to do was workout 4 hours a day, then work on recovery and then when I go home that time is mine, the workouts are done because the workouts were, well, Work.”

This little conversation only inspired me more. What if I could become a paid athlete for just a few years? After that I would like to tour the states as a motivational speaker. I would publish a book on eating and exercise and then of course I would write an Autobiography about my experience and how I went from Corporate America, to being a Fat Mavs ManiAAC dancer to being a Dallas Desperado.

So people keep asking me, “What have you been up to lately?” Well, pretty much working, working out, and taking care of my body and my house. What have you been up to?