Another great video from Jeff Bethke. So much truth in such a short amount of time.

Last night was my last day with Denton Bible Church Student Ministries. It was very difficult to make the decision to leave, but once it was made, I realized that it was the best decision.

After almost 2 years of working part time for Denton Bible Church I learned a great deal, but now I want to focus more on Seminary and my own web design business.

Working part time at the church for 29 hours a week unfortunately did not pay the bills and with school and 2 other jobs it meant that I had to work around 60-70 hours a week in order to successfully run my businesses and do well at student ministries. I realized that something had to give. I think ministry should be challenging, but it should not always leave you feeling burnt out and overworked. As Christians and ministers we should be serving joyfully from the overflow that God provides – I was no longer doing that.

What I will miss most is the students and seeing their bright smiles and watching and as they mature and learn to love Jesus. I am thankful to DBC for allowing me to serve in such a large capacity and I learned so much about what it means to work for a church.

So What’s Next…

I plan to start working more on my creative goals. I’d love to get more invested in an art-based ministry in Denton, TX. Maybe I’ll start my own, maybe I’ll join one that already exists, but either way I definitely see my life moving more toward art and design and how that impacts faith, culture and religion.

I also have written two books. One is fiction, the second is autobiographical. I’d like to work on them, fine tune them and then try to get them published.

I run a DJ business that has been booming. I’d like to figure out a way to make myself Denton’s Best Event DJ with a bunch of cool props and lights.

Lastly, I’d like to learn more in the realm of video editing with After Effects and brush up on my InDesign and Illustrator skills to accompany what I already do with Photoshop and Dreamweaver.

What makes community important? It is our community that shapes and defines us. We have this desperate need to belong to a part of something and if that something brings us joy and excitement, well, then all the better. Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, Stumbleupon, and a host of other online groups are all communities that people want to be a part of, but within those communities we place ourselves in much more granular communities.

Why is this important? Because we will go – and stay – wherever we find the most acceptance and comfort with who we are. If you are fat, you will often surround yourself with other fat people. If you are gay, then you might be in a gay community where you find acceptance and if you are pervert then there are a host of communities online that will accept you. Once you find that acceptance then you start to feel that you are “okay” with how you are because people love and accept you no inspite of your inadequacies, but because of your inadequacies. If you are fat and you suddenly slim down, you lose your fat friends. If you smoke and you stop smoking, your friends literally disappear in a puff of smoke. If you are single and you get married, well, more than likely you’ll see those single friends less and less.

That is why it is so important as believers that we “consider how to spur one another on toward love and good deeps, let us not give up of meeting together as some are in the habit of doing…” – as Christians we need to find acceptance in our church body inspire of our faults. We accept each other because our commonality is the love of Christ, not our muscle size, bank account size, the fancy shoes we wear or the type of sports that we watch or play.

Unfortunately, in many of our church communities we don’t spend time with each other on a real level. When we are at church or around our church friends we become a forced perfect version of ourselves. We don’t share our struggles. We don’t listen and we lack grace. But on an up note, I’ve noticed a big change in that in recent months and a new understanding of the importance of mentors, counseling, and community.

So go, join a small group, a sports team, or something positive where someone challenges you to be a better version of yourself. Don’t just fall into a groove of acceptance in a mediocre community that allows you to just exist and won’t accept you for who you are if you chance.

I miss the idea of LOST. But like a bad break-up, it ended poorly. I wish that they had made sense of those sideways flashes and a myriad of other things that never added up. They tried to wrap it all up with a tidy purgatory ending, but I would have preferred them to go back to their own lives at the exact moment that they were about to get on the plane and then they could have made different choices with their lives… or end them with an actual plane crash.

Through the whole season I couldn’t understand why Hurley didn’t lose some weight and there were a number of other loopholes that I may elaborate on later. All in all, I wish that it had a more satisfying ending.

What are your thoughts?

Things You Should Know Now

1. Learn to think for yourself
a. Often times we let our friends or culture tell us what we should think or believe – be sure that you do your own research and to not take anything at face value unless it comes from a very reliable source.
2. Be Grounded
a. Mentally – Do you ever struggle with depression? Highs and Lows?
b. Spiritually – Do you have a church? Do you know where you will go when you die? Do you believe in Heaven/Hell?
c. Emotionally – How are your relationships? How do you react when you are upset?
d. Financially – Are you saving your money and spending wisely?
e. Physically – are you taking care of your body? Your teeth?
3. Sex
a. Sex is a gift and should be treated as something special between two people that are married.
b. Culture, television and media will try to devalue sex and make it something that is recreational and that should be done like dancing or playing sports. But it is much more emotional and physical and dangerous.
4. Pornography
a. Is addictive
b. Will subtract – not add from your physical relationships
c. Can be a destructive trap that keeps you from living in reality and leave you always wanting more than what is actually possible.
5. Drugs and Alcohol
a. Even after you are 21 there is a large emphasis on using alcohol to have a good time. It really isn’t necessary and can become a crutch for some people.
b. Alcohol, like many things in life, can be fun, but becomes dangerous when people are stupid
c. Drugs are illegal and addictive – but you probably already know this! The point is sometimes it is more fun to do them because they are illegal, but they will really only limit you from reaching your goals
6. Dream Big
a. Things rarely just happen, if you want something, take small steps to get there and eventually you will.

7. Failure teaches us more than Success
a. When we fail it means we are really challenging ourselves. If you win all the time you aren’t getting any better, you aren’t growing and you will become lazy and arrogant all the while your competition is getting stronger
8. Don’t limit yourself or allow other to limit you
a. If you want to try something, try it, don’t let fear hold you back
b. Be constantly looking for new opportunities to excel
9. Be Humble
a. No one likes arrogant people
b. Know the difference between confidence and arrogance

10. Be Unselfish
a. It really is much better to give than to receive
b. Participate in your community, give back, help others
c. Life can be depressing if all we focus on is our own wants and needs. Real fulfillment comes from helping others.

Call me partial, but I have to say I think I have one of the coolest houses on the block, if not in all of Plano for it’s price range. Listed at 165,000 my home is a great first-time buyer property and the furniture, minus the green chair and the artwork, can be included with the property. I’m down-sizing dramatically and simplifying my life and I hope that this house sells quickly so I can get moved back to Denton. Am I a bit apprehensive? Yes. I’ve gotten used to having my own place with a garage and lots of space, but the trade-off is that you have more to take care of and the costs are really astronomical.

When you buy a house they don’t tell you that your mortgage can go up even if your rate is fixed due to increases in taxes and home owners insurance. My mortgage went from $1167 a month to $1451 after living there for 1.5 years. I asked why and they said, “Your taxes went up by 1000 dollars a year” and my response was that they increase the money they were taking from me by $3000.

Anyway, long story short, having a house is awesome, but as a single guy I don’t think the investment is worth it. I would have done better if I had just saved all the money I invested in this property… but on the upside, I got to live in a really great house in a really great location.

I’m not sure that there has ever been a more untrue children’s mantra. I think bones heal long before wounds created by words.

While at Boyd High School in McKinney I saw this circle of flowers right in the middle of the hall area where students enter. I asked this student, “What is with those flowers?”

“A Student Died, a freshman…”

“Was it suicide?”

“Yes, he was picked on a lot.”

This type of things makes me sick to my stomach. As someone who was bullied incessantly all throughout school I know what it is like to wake up every single day and dread going to class and facing cruel peers. Toss in hormonal imbalance and pressures at home and you have a recipe for disaster – especially if you feel like you have no place to turn or no one in your corner.

My mom was always there for me when I was hurt by words, but it took years for that pain to heal.

The student I was mentoring today brought up the subject of using false confidence as a way to push back the negativity. He said that he was picked on in 6th grade and that he became good at defending himself by insulting students back. I did the same thing. It wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I really started to understand that when I tear someone down it is really just me trying to make myself feel better about me.

Eventually I gained self-confidence and I stopped insulting others or comparing myself to others. It’s a lesson in futility – there is always someone in the world that is better than you at something or has something better than yours. It is so much better to just be content with what you have and to find peace in the Lord. It’s really so freeing when you’ve finally taken a hold of that concept.

If you have young students, please remind them that words do hurt and that if they are being picked on that they can come to you and talk about it. Then do something to help them in their situation. If nothing else, just be there to listen and to love on them – a little love can go a long way to healing a broken spirit.

Gnutella filled crepes served hot with fresh whipped cream and hot ginger lemon tea was one of the many highlights of the Blogher networking event planned by Jessica Ferris.  When I was first invited to this soiree I thought I’d be eating finger sandwiches and sipping tea in frilly china cushioned by lace doilies. Could I have been more wrong?

Almost immediately a waitress named Carla started asking me what I’d like to drink and made the suggestion of a Chai Tea Latte sweetened with Agave Nectar. Talk about a mouthgasm. Deliciously spiced tea with just the right amount of foam made for one of the best hot drinks I’ve had in recent memory. And if the service and drinks and decor weren’t enough to keep me captivated, the owners brought out plates of sliced scones and real spinach salads and sandwiches with a variety of cheeses.

Even though I’m not a “Her” the ladies of Blogher always seem to welcome one or two men and I always appreciate their allowing me to be part of this unique culture. Hi Jenny!

Overall, Village Tea at Park and Preston in Dallas impressed me not only with their great products and AMAZING staff, but with their desire to comfort and educate their customers. Almost instantly I felt at home their despite it’s trendy and upscale location. And with free Wi-Fi and a place for kids to play in a colorful corner it is sure to be a hit with mom’s and businessmen alike.

A special thanks to the beautiful Bryce Gruber for hosting us and keeping us entertained, if you see her, tell her Eddie sent you.

Question: As a single woman, what do I do to satisfy my sexual desires? Don’t give me a pat answer.

Now the assumption here is that you should not be having sex before marriage. Take that one step further and you can say that you should not be masturbating before marriage. Why not? The Bible never mentions that it is a sin, therefore, we can clearly rule out that the act is a sin.

However, the Bible does clearly state that lust is a sin and so you can infer that if you are lusting while masturbating that is a sin.

I thought Grace gave a very good answer…

While masturbation and self-gratification aren’t a sin, feeling the need to satisfy your sexual urges without self-discipline can lead to destructive behaviors. Looking at Pornography, Fornication, Adulterous affairs, etc.

I thought that this was an interesting way to answer a difficult question and it applies to every area of our lives. In our American culture we are very used to instant gratification and pleasing ourselves. We have instant everything and self-discipline gets put way on the back burner.

The Only Way To Rid Yourself of Temptation is to Yield to It…

So personally I think that sexual urges are like any appetite of the flesh. It is obviously both biological and mental and anything that is biological and physiological are going to require some sort of restraint. Food is necessary to survive and without it you would die, but that doesn’t mean that you should eat sugar at every single meal.

So what do you tell your kids? If you are a dad what do you tell your son? Should you tell them that sex is bad, but when it comes to masturbation limit it to one time a week? What about your daughters? How do you talk to them about sex? Masturbation? Do you talk to them at all or just hope that this is something that they aren’t tempted to do?

I found this line on a website with some good information that you should share with your students probably as early as 10 or 11:

Remember, you need to master your behavior, or else sin will master it for you. Even a good thing can become sinful without the right heart. Even if you don’t believe that masturbation is a sin, if it is controlling you then it is a sin.

1 Corinthians 6:12 – “Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible for me’ – but I will not be mastered by anything.”

In my own childhood sexual topics were always very taboo. I’d say not talking is much more harmful than talking. It’s amazing how much being educated about something can help you make an informed decision. It might not always be the right decision, but you can’t look back and say, “Why didn’t someone tell me?”

Wow, 23 years ago at the age of 10 I was already writing about food! As I read through the story it was obvious that I didn’t have any real creative writing style, but, the story had a beginning, a body, and a conclusion and the grammar was awesome for a 10 year old.

I remember growing up I was always writing poetry, some of it inflammatory, but mostly it was simple rhymes and short stories.

Why didn’t anyone ever tell me back then that I should be a writer when I grow up?

There are a few things in life that come easily to me, the most natural thing I do is dance. It is something I do well without any thought or practice. For me “dancing by ear” is similar to the way people play music by ear. You don’t understand how you do it, you just do.

Later in life I realized I was pretty decent at spatial concepts and understanding balance in design. I’m no artist, but I can sense when something is right.

I think that in our culture we often direct our children down a path that seems to fit something that is accepted by society as great: Doctors, Lawyers, Fireman. We ask “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Instead of asking, “What do you LIKE to do the most?”

Perhaps if we asked the latter question we would better be able to direct our children down a path that they will not only excel in, but they will also find satisfying.

I think our society and culture is wasteful. We spend hours of time and thousands of dollars forcing students to take years of math and science. Instead we should probably have our students get a general grasp of the math and science they need to relate to all parts of society as a whole, however, I have never needed to use Algebra and I’m not sure the 4 years of my life spent in Algebra classes was time well spent. What if instead I was thrust into a creative writing class, dance, art? What if once we got to high school we spent those 4 years finding out what we excelled in and then by the time we got to college we could really intensify those areas of study and then we would be awesome at our careers.Instead we force high school students to endure 2 more years of information that we should have already learned in the previous 12 years of our education and then, once we’ve spent thousands of dollars learning these “basics” we finally get to the meaty subject of what we are going to be doing for the rest of our lives and we spend just 2 years on that. It doesn’t make sense.

Now here I am at 33 years of age and I just now fully understand the areas that I am good at and I’ve spent years and thousands of dollars acquiring skills in an area that I only sort of enjoy and I will never seriously excel in without a lot of work and effort.

So my choice is to either throw away the investment that I have made in my education, or to live a life doing something that I only partly enjoy doing.

I, personally, should have been a writer, or a dancer, or possibly an interior designer. What should you have been?