How to Annoy Me...

I work as an entertainer and I am quasi-famous in certain circles. Over time I have learned that some people are going to be asses. What is important is not to be an ass back to them. Be professional. Be poised. I am always annoyed when I see someone react unprofessionally in a situation. Chill out. Don't let someone control your emotions - you need to keep them in control.

How to Annoy Me...

Ask me for something that I can't provide and then when I tell you that I can't provide it act like I am lying.

Hey, if I have something, I will give it to you if it is within my power, I am a giver by nature, but like my mom always said growing up, "You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip."

How to Annoy Me...

Ugh, do NOT drive fast in the school zone, and do NOT ride my bumper like I am the idiot going slow in a school zone. RETARD - WE ARE IN A SCHOOL ZONE. You are going to get the HORN OF CORRECTION FOLLOWED BY THE FINGER OF FORGIVENESS!!!

How to Annoy Me...

I am constantly annoyed at how many people can't spell my name?

I call sales reps all day and they say what is your name? And I say, "Eddie Renz, R-E-N-Z" and they respond "R-E-N-C?" How many words in the English language end in C? Or other languages for that matter? If it happened only once a day it would be one thing, but every single day is another. And then there is the RUIZ. It's like people don't even look at my name, they see this big brown guy and they assume my last name is RUIZ. I have no Spanish or Mexican blood in me.

How to Annoy Me...

Errr... I can NEVER find a post office when I need one and when I do find one here in Dallas, it is always stuck back off the road all obscure and hidden and I normally pass it like 8 times before I see it. Even with a map today I got lost and ended up going to a UPS store and almost hugged the cashier.

How to Annoy Me...

I am thinking about going into the business of selling dead horses and really big sticks to beat them with.

I am tired of hearing about Hurricane Katrina, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and the rising price of gas.

I don't mind being informed, but man the overwhelming details over and over and over again does nothing for me. I can't look at the face of the news anchor and think that they aren't loving this tragedy because it is great for their ratings.

I guess in my old age I am getting a little cynical.

How to Annoy Me...

If I am looking at a rack of clothes in the mall, don't come right up next to me and look at the pair of pants RIGHT NEXT TO the pair I am looking at.

A. You are invading my space bubble
B. You need to wait your turn you impatient moron
C. Getting this close to me annoys me and when you annoy me you suddenly appear on the endangered species list.

Endangered Species List

1. Shopping Morons
2. Duck Billed Platypus
3. Blue-footed Booby

You get the idea.

How to Annoy Me...

I am tired of The Real World being so... so, vapid.

I do expect a group of young college students to go out and party. I expect them to get drunk and fight and call up their families and whine about what a nightmare their lives are, but don't you think that they would at least try to change up the show a bit?

Every season these kids are stuck in a monstrously wonderful house, then they are forced to go into bars and party, and then I am sure they are coerced into making out with each other, and it's just the same thing season after season.

Perhaps the reason they haven't changed it is because people are still watching it, but trust me MTV, eventually even the kids that are stoned out of their minds are going to want to watch something more entertaining, I just don't think it has sunk in yet that you guys are going to come up with anything new. We are waiting for something fun and new and exciting and each week it is the same thing, Tiffany is in love with her roommate and her boyfriend back home is Jealous. WE ARE OVER IT ALREADY!!

The only other show that can be any more boring than The Real World is That 70's House. Talk about a stinker. I am annoyed by the fact that I actually watched 20 minutes of it last night, 20 minutes that I could have been watching some other reality TV that was actually worth watching. I actually think The Simple Life is more entertaining than That 70's House.

Really MTV, where has all your creativity gone?

How to Annoy Me...

I got up this morning and decided to go to breakfast at Le Madeline here in Plano. I love going to breakfast alone with a good book. I always get the croque martin and potato galette - not really diet food, but I run it off later in the day.

Anyway, I get their this morning and this old couple and their granddaughter are in line ahead of me and we are the only customers in line and they tell me to go in front of them because they can't make up their minds. So I proceed to the front of the line and the manager is hustling around doing a lot of nothing and he finally goes back to the old couple and waits on them despite the fact that they told me to go in front of them! Ugh. I was so upset with him - he should have asked, "Who's Next?" or something if he was confused about the situation.

So then I finally get to order and they don't have what I want and they say, "It will take 10 minutes to make it" - she says it like she is hoping that I will change my mind to something else and I reply, "That's fine."

30 minutes goes by and I am reading away in my book and the food never arrives. I storm up to the counter and demand my money back. Apparently this happens all the time or I looked like I was ready to explode because the guy didn't even bat an eye - he immediately started gettting my money back.

Needless to say, Le Madeline is on the top of my $h!t list for a good while. They are already pretentious and over-priced and so they can't afford to give bad service.

Leaving I thought I had their customer service number and I didn't so I am going to go back up there and ask for both the number and the managers name and then I am going to make a phone call - because if you don't stand up when you are wronged, then you are telling that person that the wrong they did was alright.

How to Annoy Me...

Recently my friend Maksim - the Russian - experienced what I like to call "The inconsiderate user".

The Inconsiderate User is someone who calls you up and has you go out of your way to help them, and then doesn't have the decency to help you help them.

In Maksim's case it was a friend who had asked him to drive over and work out with him - Maksim didn't need to work out, but he was doing it out of the goodness of his heart, but then when it came time to actually workout, his friend kept wasting time talking to other people in the gym, thus wasting his time and Maksim's time.

This my good friends is the quickest way to annoy me, and I will only allow it once. If it happens just once in our relationship, then you will have tainted the friendship in the worst way, you might as well have come into my house and kicked my dog.

How to Annoy Me...

I was in a meeting the other day and I heard this lady say, "Well, it's a powerpoint presentation, there is no need to put a highly skilled resource on a job like that."

I wasn't in a place to say anything, but I wanted to say, "Excuse me? Not highly skilled?" I think that in order to do a really nice PowerPoint you do have to be highly skilled. And it wasn't what she said, it was the condescending way that she said it, as if the people that are making the PowerPoint aren't as important as the people viewing the PowerPoint - that is what I found annoying.

How to Annoy Me...

Don't blog for 2 weeks straight. People, I need updated blogs, the most you are allowed to take a break is 2 days without explanation. If you are on a blog hiatus, then you need to warn us - that way we can mark our calendars and set reminders of when we can expect for you to come back.

How to Annoy Me...

My stomach turned every time I heard someone make fun of Camilla Parker Bowles and her marriage to Prince Charles. Every time they mentioned her they made jokes like she was ugly or man-ish and I couldn't help but think, "How Utterly Cruel". Here is this woman who is already A. A woman - don't they have enough insecurities fresh out of the womb? B. Marrying a Prince - She knows everyone is going to be expecting some hottie C. Getting Married to the love of her life, can we not just be happy for her?

I am insensed by the insensitivity of the media and the human race, nothing is sacred anymore, not even love. We must rip it to shreds, step on it, and make it into something humorous so we can make it through our own tragic lives.

How to Annoy Me

Don't even get me started at how furious I am that I can't move my iTunes songs from my laptop to my desktop at home. I already have iTunes on my home computer AND I used the same account password and login on both computers, however, in order to move new music from one computer to another you have to have an internet connection and I don't have an internet connection on my desktop - UGH! And I can't get my good speakers to work on my laptop so I have to listen to my music through headphones if I want it to sound good. iTunes - I LOVE TO HATE YOU.

How to Annoy Me...

Charge 3.45 for two small scoops of ice cream - it's just some eggs, some cream, and some sugar, it's not like it will CURE CANCER!!!

How to Annoy Me...

Um, do they think I just started using computers YESTERDAY!!!! I am LIVID!! Not really, but I am slightly annoyed that they aren't fixing this problem, and that they allow so many blog sites out there that are just clogging up the blogosphere with sites that aren't blogs at all - just stupid advertisement sites...


Hi there,

Errors like this are generally due to temporary problems with our servers, and if you wait a little while before trying again, Blogger should work normally. If you continue to have trouble with it, please try clearing your browser's cache and cookies before logging in again. We apologize for the inconvenience, and we are constantly working on making our servers more reliable.

Thanks for using Blogger!

Sincerely,
Blogger Support

Original Message Follows:
------------------------
From: "Renz, Eddie"
Subject: Help
Date: Thu, 10 Mar 2005 13:21:27 -0600

Hey Guys and Gals-



I love Blogger and for some reason it seems very slow lately and today I can't get it to let me publish on my Posted Note Site at all, but it will let me post on some of my sub sites that are smaller than the main posted note site.



I get this error.




Internal Server Error


The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.

Please contact the server administrator, support@blogger.com and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error.

More information about this error may be available in the server error log.

Again, I appreciate the great service that is BLOGGER! It's awesome, I used to do my own database using PHP and MySQL but I just like the ease and functionality of blogger.



Thanks!



Eddo of Posted Note

www.postednote.com

Hot to Annoy Me...

Spit Snuff bags in the Urinal...

There are these little bags of snuff that you put in your mouth so that you dont' have to get your hands all dirty by pinching a big pinch of tobacco. Well, why is it so hard to spit them out in the trash can? If you spit them in the urinal then some poor cleaning person has to go and dig them out - they won't flush! And that is just not cool, especially to do it at work, very lame whoever you are, VERY LAME!!!

How to Annoy Me...

Shed

I don't like things that Shed. I don't like dog hair all over stuff and I don't like my rug that I got from Pier 1 Imports because it keeps shedding!!! PLEASE STOP IT ALREADY WITH THE SHEDDING!!!

Here is a picture of the rug in case you forgot what it looks like. It's awesome because it is so versatile - but my word it sheds like sheep dog in the desert.

How to annoy me...

Blogger, you will not let me post all day! Why? Why dost thou forbid me to go into the haven that is POSTED NOTE and POST A FREAKIN' NOTE!!!

I have this post all typed up in word - most of it done LAST NIGHT - and I haven't been able to get blogger to let me in to my main pages - Posted Note has about 500 blog entries and so sometimes it takes time to open, but lately it won't let me in until I try at least 700 times. WHO IS DOING THIS TO ME? JUST WAIT TILL I FIND YOU!!!

How to annoy me...

I don't like to be hounded. If I can't get something for you right away, then I will get it as soon as I can- STOP. HOUNDING. ME. )

How to annoy me...

Spit a large wad of tabacco onto the urinal, it's very gross to look at so please work on your spitting accuracy.

How to annoy me...

Hog all the tables in Starbucks by putting your belongings all around you... what in the world stingy? Plano people annoy me sometimes... or maybe it's just Starbucks people in general that thing they own everything....

How to annoy me...

Knock on my front door. I don't know why but I equate knocking on my door with the alarm from an alarm clock. I hate them both. I ESPECIALLY HATE IT when people knock continuously, like when they know you are in there and so they decided to knock until you answer- OH. MY. WORD. Thank God in Heaven that I do not own a gun because sometimes I think I might would snap.

Disclaimer: I never really would snap- just in case this page is being read by someone in the FBI that might think I am the unabomber's cousin or something. Ted Kaczynski was the Unabomber, who's reign of terror continued for over 18 years, I have never been committed to anything for longer than about 4 years, and I have never been violent, only mildly agitated when someone knocks too long on my door.

How to annoy me...

I am sleeping at Cody's house last weekend and all of the sudden I hear my horn going off on my truck. This is the 4th time I have had to jet out in the cold, unlock my doors, and turn the steering wheel so that the horn will stop blaring. I finally ripped the cover off the horn and removed the wires- which was surprsingly easy to do. I have no horn, and I have no more annoyances.

How to annoy me...

Lose my shirt. I took my shirt to Comet Cleaners in Denton to get it cleaned and I went to pick it up and the cleaners LOST IT!! It was such an inconvenient time since I had to be at a funeral in less than 3 hours... but Dillards had a nice replacement so it all worked out.

How to annoy me...

Charge $77.00 to Fed Ex a little box (smaller than a shoebox) to Shanghai, China- I know it is on the other side of the world, but daaaaang! The stuff inside the box didn't even cost that much!

How to annoy me...

Christmas Traffic!! I used to love the hustle and bustle of Christmas, but for some reason this year I just want people to move out of my way!!

How to annoy me...

Today while backing out of our parking space this young girl was driving and she wouldn't stop. We were in a convertible and so I looked at her like "Are you insane?" and she kept driving like she was in some sort of catatonic, I don't see your crazy face state- Even crazier was the my friend was driving his friends convertible and he wasn't stopping!!! I just new we were going to hit them, by some miracle we managed to get ahead of her without killing her. I would have just let the insane woman pass, but my co-worker friend wasn't having any of that...

How to annoy me...

Place me on hold FOREVER!!

How to annoy me...

I don't really liked to be touched while at work. Don't come up behind me and start poking me while I am on the phone. And, don't poke my chest to see if it is sore because we just had a good workout the day before- I don't know why but it just annoys the crap out of me when someone has to come out of no where and poke me.

How to annoy me...

Ask me to send you an email when I have a problem, then when I send the email asking for help, just ignore the email. Ugh. If you don't want to help me, then please don't offer! (this is related to work, not personal)

How to ANNOY me...

Force me to eat Turkey, Ham, and Chicken and a whole plate of desserts at the work luncheon. I HAD TO, it's required or you might lose your job...

How to annoy me...

Door to Door salesmen annoy me for many reasons...

1. I have to put clothes on
2. They won't take no for an answer
3. They are never selling anything I like- Girls Scouts don't go door to door anymore
4. They always come right in the middle of my favorite shows!!

How to annoy me...

I get very annoyed when I call someone for help and they say dumb stuff like, "Do you have the device with you" after I just said, "I am calling for a customer who is in Japan." Then after I very nicely explain, "I just told you the customer is in Japan" respond with, "Well, do you have the device?" How hard is it to infer from what I am saying that I DON'T. HAVE. THE. DEVICE. This particular lady had the nerve to continue to argue with me about not having the device and how it is always best to have the freaking device!!! She made me want to scream.

How to Annoy Me...

Play Techno Beats at 2 AM on a WORK NIGHT!!!

How to annoy me...

Scary movie commercials - I have nightmares just from the PREVIEWS!!! How can they play a commercial for "SAW" in the middle of Seinfeld?

Interrupt me everytime I open my mouth- for Heaven's sake- let me finish one complete sentence!

Always act the victim- everyone is not always picking on you, and if they are then you deserve it.

I am annoyed by those people that come up to me after I have specified what to bring to a party and then they ask questions like- "How much should I bring?" "What do you think I should bring?" etc. I mean, if you are over the age of 25 hopefully you have been to more than one party in your life- you should not need guidance- and you surely shouldn't need it from someone 10 years younger than you- methinks maybe you are doing it just to ANNOY me.

Over Explain- why do so many people think that they need to blab for hours about the problem- just tell me short and sweet and I will fix it- I am sure God must feel this way when people pray- he is probably thinking- If you will just shut up a minute, I can fix it!

Blow your nose really loud while I am trying to sleep- someone put a muffler on that schnoz.

When we have been sitting in traffic for 30 minutes on a one lane road, rubberneck- not once- but twice doing a full neck turn once you are 10 feet beyond the wreckage- THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO SEE YOU IDIOT- don't think I didn't give him the horn of correction!

When I ask you if you understand the meaning of the phrase "Speaking out of Turn" respond with "No" and then keep right on talking when it is obvious that I was telling you to shut up.

Expect me to squeeze blood out of a turnip- I am not Harry Potter.

Act like I'm the stupid one in the room- Never treat me like I am stupid- you big dumb animal.

Whine- why do people have to whine- there is an easy way to complain without adding that childish whiny tone to your voice- you are old- it is time to move past the whine stage.

Make the most simple things complicated, changing your password on your computer is not freaking rocket science!!!

Make me wait- I get ansy when I have to wait too long, it is one thing if you are trying to hurry, but it is a whole different story if I am waiting because you are stupid, you are lazy, or because you don't know how to drive.

Be Negative- some people are so negative that after being around them for 2 minutes I want to commit suicide.

Talk with your Baritone voice so loudly that my head hurts at the end of the day- please be quiet.

If you are going to ask me a question, just ask it, don't tell me what you had for breakfast, why you decided to wear what you are wearing, and whatever else happened before you ran into your problem, just tell me what the problem is so I can fix it, if I want to know something, I will ask you!! Stupid head.