Learning to listen – it’s not something that comes naturally. Some people are better listeners than others, but most people that are really good listeners do it intentionally. I try to be a good listener, but I find myself wanting to interrupt often. I love to hear the sound of my own voice. I love being heard. We all do. It’s what makes being a good listener so special.
Yesterday I was in a training session for a new ministry project that I’m participating in. The speaker said to us, “Don’t be so quick to take mental notes or to think that you have the answer.” It was a simple statement, but so powerful. We often feel like we know what to say – especially if what we are going to say happened to work for us. We get this nugget of truth and then we can’t wait to share it with everyone as if it is some miracle cure. But that nugget of truth might not ring so true for someone else. Being quick to answer often only comes across as rejection and if you aren’t a good listener – people will stop sharing what’s important with you.
My mentor has me reading a book right now called, “The Millionaire Mind.” It’s brilliant, but not in it’s information about money earning, but in the advice it gives on how to deal with people. “Me-Me-Me is Dull, Dull, Dull” – this was a line from the book and it is something I now remind myself often. When I’m with other people I want to always make it more about them and less about myself. This is a learned skill. It is not easy especially if the other person has also learned the importance of not focusing on themselves. But this is where great communication comes in. There is an amazing give and take and you ask questions and you allow the other person to fully answer and even better, you pause when they are done talking just in case they have more to say.
I’m still working hard at being the best version of who God created me to be. If you have some advice for me, I’d love to hear it… I’m listening…