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Nursing Home News

My job at the nursing home is going great, however, recently the owner suggested, “Hey Eddie, you can stay in one of the rooms here and save the hotel cost.” – The problem was that he was serious. Could you imagine staying the night in a nursing home? I have trouble sleeping in my own house! Every bump, every noise, every cricket chirp wakes me up – I could only imagine the fear that would settle in my bones at the sound of someone moaning or a confused resident climbing into my bed accidentally.

On top of the weirdness of staying in a nursing home there is the size of the beds, the lack of adequate air conditioning and random nurses, some of which are strange men, come in and out of the rooms at all hours. I could just imagine one of them popping into my room and attaching an IV of some sedative or barbiturate and then me being stuck there for the rest of my life. My friends and family would probably think, “Well, this is convenient, now we don’t have to worry about what to do with him when he gets old.”

So when the owner made this suggestion I just replied, “Well that would be convenient” – but I had no plan to stay there. If they don’t want to pay for my hotel, then I can increase my rate and pay for it myself or I can find other work.

I don’t want to wake up one day and realize that I have been in the same room for the past 60 years.  And if I do come up missing, YOU BETTER COME AND GET ME!!!

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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