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The Speeding Ticket and Genator Johnson

On my way to Waco one morning I was driving throuh Red Oak and I got stopped by a cop. I normally have a sixth sense about cops and I rarely get speeding tickets, but this particular morning I had gotten up at 5:00, which is earlier than Jesus wakes up, and I wasn’t paying attention and so the cop nabbed me at 78 miles an hour in a 60.

He wasn’t happy and why would he be? He was up when only satan and hoodlums were up and about and I am sure he just wanted to get his quota of tickets and then move on to restraining people from seeing their dying mother-in-laws.

Fast-forward a couple of days and when I get home the mailbox contains several letters from law firms. The first letter intrigued me cause I thought I was being sued but when I opened it I only found that it was just some cheap marketing from a lawyer that wanted to help me dismiss my ticket. Intrigued I opened all the letters only to find the last one seemed to have the best deal. It was from The Genator Johnson Law Firm.

“Dallas County Records show that you have received ticket in Dallas County Precinct 1-1” – the poor grammar should have been a clue, but I was drawn in by the price of just $39 for a ticket dismissal and so I gave them a call.

“For traffic violations press 1”

“Hello, Genator Johnson Law Firm”

“Yes, I received a letter from your firm stating that you help with speeding tickets?”

“Yes.”

“Well, it says you dismiss them for $39 dollars?”

“Yes.”

“And I have a ticket for $250”

“Mhmmm”

Each reply was from a woman who seemed to be filing her nails and totally uninterested in my call.

“Well, are you going to help me or not?” – I finally blurted out.

“What do you mean?” Was her response.

“Well, I called to get some help with this ticket, but you don’t seem interested in helping me. I had expected you to say that ‘yes, we can take care of that right away, we just need a credit card and your citation number.’ but you don’t seem to want to help” – I was exasperated by her lacsadaisical attitude and nothing makes me more irate than poor customer service.

Finally she said, “Well, how many citations are on it?”

I responded, “Nevermind, I will just call another law firm that does want my business and I’ll be sure to let people know not to use Genator Johnson.”

I then hung up the phone and just paid the $250 dollar ticket. I just didn’t think I could handle dealing with anymore stupid people that day.

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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