If I have to take my pants off one more time…

Today I went to the doctor because of this pain I have in my right side. It hurtslike a small tumor is trying to grow there in my side where my appendix is. I did some blood work and my white blood cells are fine and so they thought, “Hey, maybe it’s a hernia so let’s make him drop his pants.” Down my pants go and the Doc has my right testicle in his hand and he is pressing up behind it really hard and he says, “Now grunt like you have to go to the bathroom and cough at the same time.” All the while the attractive female doctor in the room is looking out the window – awkward!

No luck on the genitalia even though I was poked as if the area around my tally whacker was the pillsbury dough boy’s stomach. Let me tell you it did not tickle and there wasn’t any spontaneous laughter.

After I grunted with my pants around my ankles the doctor decided to make me lie on the table with my pants down while he poked around on my stomach. It was humiliating and after everything he said I still needed to go for an ultrasound.

I just want my side to stop hurting and I don’t want to have to take my pants off in order to make it happen, is that too much to ask? I bet if I went to the doctor with a headache he would probably say, “Well, let’s start by getting those pants off…”