DON’T LOOK

On Sunday I went to eat lunch with my parents at Babe’s Chicken Diner in Sanger. After we gorged ourselves on chicken, fish, mashed potatoes, green beans and corn, we went next door to this tiny shop filled with all sorts of western and vintage goodies.

We made the store circuit and saw many cool vintage posters, some fun wooden crosses and a few other things that caught my eye. However, as we were about to leave I noticed this giant 5 foot tall by about 3 foot wide vintage John Wayne cartoon poster. It was all blues and oranges and I can’t remember it too well because I was afraid to look at it because I might have wanted it too much.

I quickly asked, “How much is it?”

“It’s $899, the frame is solid wood and the poster is from the 1950’s” the owner replied who was obviously trying to look like Elvis with his dark hair and side burns styled to look exactly like the 1970’s version of The King.

Still I dared not look too long at the actual imagery of the poster, but like cleavage I couldn’t help but be slightly tempted to look.

My mom kept chattering away and reading signs as I held the door open trying to escape. “Eddie, look at that sign, read it, I just have to have it!” she exclaimed. I laughed one of those half laughs you might laugh when you aren’t really paying attention and you are kind of scared that someone might see you that you don’t want to see or one of those laughs when you are just trying to get out the door so you aren’t tempted to pull our your Corporate Amex and charge the giant poster than you know you can’t live without.

It is Wednesday and I have not stopped thinking about that giant piece of art. I’ve imagined how it would look in my living room and add an excellent touch of masculinity and at the same time it would be a conversation piece and something I would treasure forever. When I get married it could go into a game room or a guest room or maybe even a media room.

I’ve pictured it with the colors in my living room. I’ve thought about the type of nails it would take to hang the post and I’ve pondered about the weight of it and if the nails would support it.

All this and I only saw the picture for a mere 10 seconds and even then I let my eyes drop out of focus.

I did the same thing when I bought my house. I walked in and did a cursory glance. I never looked at the garage, I quickly looked at the backyard and then I never even looked at the bathrooms, I wanted it so bad without even seeing these things that I knew if I looked anymore my desire would be all consuming.

So that is how I deal with things I cannot have, I just don’t look, because once I’m hooked I can’t say no.