As I was brushing my teeth this morning I finally felt at peace in my house. It’s weird how you don’t even realize the underlying stress and tension that someone can cause you until they are gone.
I poured a cup of Spunky Monkey Coffee and drank it in silence. The house was still and clean. There were no crumbs on my coffee table, the trash was empty. There was no one snoring on my couch.
There are times when I think about what happened with Josh that I still feel a bit of anxiety and emotion about that entire situation. I probably didn’t handle it as best as I could, but I knew I couldn’t live with him any longer. I can only take so much of something until I eventually explode.
I told Josh to leave last Tuesday. I cut him out of my life, because I was ready to cut him, literally.
I’m 32 now and a good portion of my life was lived with a weight of anxiety, fear and dread. I don’t plan to live like that ever again. I never want my home to be a place that I dread coming home to. It is my refuge, my place of restoration. It’s nice that after a week it’s home again.