Today I was getting ready and I realized I had no clean underwear. I sometimes will just wear a pair of workout shorts as underwear if I am wearing jeans, but you can’t pull off this comfortable maneuver when wearing dress slacks. I never go commando, it’s just not comfortable and when I was a little boy I did zip my Wang in the zipper of my read cut-off jean shorts. My grandfather had to help me get it unstuck. I remember jumping up and down and running around like a freshly circumcised chicken. As you can imagine it did not feel good. Underwear prevents such mishaps.

So today, I am wearing these long underwear. They are like t-shirt material long johns. It was my only option and I’m finding them surprisingly comfortable. I will not, however, be venturing out into the heat in these. I plan to stay indoors and as close to an A/C as possible.

What I am wondering is what do you do when you run out of clean underpants?

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

One reply on “Confessions”

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