Detox Day 5: For My Future Family

I’m on this path to become healthy and to take care of business now while I’m in my 30’s. I’ve been going to the dentist and chiropractor and getting in the best shape of my life. Part of it has been for Dallas Deperado Tryouts in the Fall, but mostly it has been because one day I want to have a family and I want to be healthy for them. 21 days of fruits and vegetables is a great way to break a lot of bad habits. Breakfast burritos with 4 pieces of bacon, eggs, potatoes and cheese cannot be a 3 time a week ritual. Starbucks, Taco Cabana, and Chinese Food need to be things that are treat myself to, not something I devour daily.

Yesterday was probably my most difficult day so far. At work we are planning a picnic for 70 people and we are talking about having it catered by Babe’s Chicken. Piles of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans and corn has got to be one of my favorite indulgences on the planet. Slap a biscuit on the plate and given the option I might would skip my honeymoon for a week long stay at Babe’s.

Last night Erin and I went to watch The Ticket guys, The Musers agains the Hardline, play a charity baseball game. It was a blast except I kept seeing plates filled with funnel cakes and french fries loaded with chili and cheese. Nachoes, corn dogs, cheeseburgers, bratwursts - it was as if they had taken a look at my favorite foods list and then made them to order. I told Erin that she could get something if she got hungry and that I was fine with just having a bottled water. She got a corn dog and I was half-tempted to kiss her mid-bite just so I could get a taste.

For the most part I have been wildly pleased with my results and my will power. I’ve been having to make myself eat because I just haven’t been all that hungry. I know that not eating will only slow my metabolism down and so I am having to shove down carrots and pinto beans and strawberries so that I at least get a minimal amount of nutrients.

Also, a bit of a surprise… yesterday I took a scoop of Dr. Natura “Colon Blow” Powder yesterday. I worried all day that at some point it was going to hit me and I would feel like an atom bomb about to explode. 10 seconds and counting. I imagined myself sprinting to the bathroom, or trying to sprint with my broken foot, pushing people out of the way, papers flying, pants hurriedly shoved to my ankles and then holding on to the toilet like tha scene from Dumb and Dumber. It never happened. I didn’t even have to go to the bathroom yesterday. I pee a lot, but that’s it. I read a Dean Koontz novel once where the guy thought he could perfect his diet so much that he would stop having to go to the bathroom. His body would just efficiently burn everything he put into his mouth. Perhaps that is what is happening to me.

Current Weight: 337.8 (14.4 total pounds lost)
Breakfast: Pineapple
Lunch: Pineapple
Dinner: Carrots and Pinto Beans

 And this is how I want to look in the future. This is my goal outfit. Insert vomit here. This was sent to me by Mike after he read my tweet about a man-skirt. These Spartan shorts are supposed to replicate those worn in the 300 movie or your local gay disco. Thanks Mike for the laugh.