Marry Me… Reason #102 I Will Define the Relationship

“I want you to be my girlfriend” It sounded like something I would have said in 8th grade, but you have to say it. You have to ask, you have to define the relationship. I also took this opportunity to set expectations. Relationships aren’t about being controlling or manipulative, they are about open communication and honesty. As a 32 year old man dating a 23 year old woman I felt it important to cover certain aspects of our relationship. It was difficult for me to say what I needed to say. I brooded about it, I didn’t want to sound cheesy, or stupid, but I felt that I needed to lay a foundation that one day, if we were to get married, we both could look back on and be proud of.

I did not do this with the last girl I was seeing. I asked her to be my girlfriend over email. How spineless was that? I was never proud of myself for doing that. It’s easy to ask tough questions over an impersonal medium, but I don’t think it is the right thing to do.

I remember an episode of Sex and the City (I know, it’s of the devil) and Carrie’s boyfriend broke up with her on a Post-It Note. Guys, come on, we have to do better than that.

In my last relationship I didn’t do much better, I ended things with one girl face-to-face, however, the last one I ended things over email. It was a nice email summing up things nicely – like saying, “We just aren’t a good match.” But I should have said these things in person.

Love is messy. Relationships are difficult. I have a tendency to over think things. If I am not constantly in a state of bliss then I want to run for the exit. I’m working on that now.

No matter where Erin and I end up, I want our relationship to be centered on Christ, open communication, honesty and purity. I’ve messed up a lot in the past, but from now on I hope to do it right. And hopefully, one of these days, there will be more than just 101 Reasons to Marry Me

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

4 replies on “Marry Me… Reason #102 I Will Define the Relationship”

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