My roommate went to the grocery store and bought groceries for himself. He’s 24 and I’m always getting on to him about his diet. He’s 6′ 3″ and weighs 268. He loves Dr. Pepper as much as I do, but he actually drinks it on a daily basis. I have not seen him drink a glass or bottle of water since he moved in with me.
I try not to preach to him too much, but I feel like it is partially my responsibility as a mentor and role model to tell him that at 24 you should not drink 4-6 Dr. Pepper’s at dinner. Captain Crunch is not a breakfast cereal that adults eat on a daily basis, and while I am ecstatic that you are buying groceries instead of eating out, you should try to squeeze in some healthy options like fruit or yogurt.
So far I’ve limited my dietary suggestions because I don’t want him to feel like he can’t eat anything around me without me wagging my finger in his face. I don’t always eat healthy, but when I do eat poorly I try to make wise poor choices. If I eat fast food I try to stay away from fried foods and I never drink Dr. Pepper on a daily basis. At most I normally partake of this forbidden fruit once or twice a week and even then I try to make sure it is Dublin Dr. Pepper.
Yesterday morning I had a talk with him and I told him that I would have killed to have someone showing me the ropes and mentoring me at 24. At 24 to get to live with a 32 year old that is as successful and fun as I am would have been a dream. I could teach him so much, but so often when we are young we don’t understand how important it is to listen.
While diet is important, my main focus lately has been on communication and telling him that it is VERY IMPORTANT that you communicate with people when you owe them money or someone owes you money. Confrontation does not have to be heated. When you have an issue all you have to do is tell someone what is going on and not allow emotion to get involved. Have facts that back up your point and find a manner of speaking that isn’t accusatory but instead has options.
Ex: “Roommate, were you planning on paying your rent this week? It is three days late.”
“Well, I don’t have it yet, I was hoping I would have had it before you asked.”
“All you needed to do was say something. Don’t make me have to ask for it, just tell me up front that you are going to be late and why and then it is cool.”
That is all there is to it. Instead of being up front, my roommate thought it would be easier just to avoid the situation. Avoidance does not make it go away.