I read an article recently in British GQ about how guys are in desperate need of more “Man” time. The author made a great point about how men are spending more and more time with women and there was a time when women stayed home and men went to the workplace. Now men are raised by women, surrounded by women and made to feel guilty by our women when we are not spending time with them.
I’m not married and this is part of the reason I don’t date much. I love my crazy busy life and I love “me” time. I like spending time with the guys at the gym, playing Ultimate Frisbee, Racquetball, watching sports and action movies. I’m like a wild mustang so don’t fence me in.
I work for Texas Instruments and there are a number of basketball leagues here where guys play basketball at 5:30 a.m. 3 days a week. “I’ve been playing with the same group of guys for the past 26 years” one TI’er recently told me.
The guys I work out with are there at the same time every day. We talk to each other about the Mavericks and Tiger Woods. We rib each other about how much weight we are or aren’t lifting. And when one of us leaves we say goodbye with a wave or a pounding of the fist. It’s a testosterone filled bonding time and I love it.
Every weekend I play Ultimate Frisbee and I drive 45 minutes one way to play with a group of guys that I’ve known for years. I’m dedicated not just because I love the game, but because I need to be out there releasing the stress of the week. I enjoy being with some of my closest friends on the planet. When Cribby isn’t there, I’m disappointed. When I see Dumas or Cody or Shaun show up, I’m elated. When Michael shows up in his brawny paper towel red and black checkered shirt I want to give him a noogy. These guys aren’t merely friends, they are my brothers, my family. I wait all week to see them, not just to play the game.
Here in Dallas, and syndicated throughout the U.S., there is a radio station, Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket. Guys listen religiously. I asked one of my friends why he liked it so much and he said, “They make you feel like you are right there with them, like you and all the guys listening are part of some special and exclusive club.” Guys like that, we need that feeling of being with men who like the things we do. We get “Man Crush’s” on guys like Tyler Derndan, Brad Pitt’s character in Fight Club. We want to be around guys that we want to be like. We want our own Entourage.
I’m 32 and I have a myriad of close male friends and we get to have a “guys” night about once every 6 months. We have to plan it a month in advance and then sometimes it falls apart at the last minute or one or two wives or girlfriends end up showing up. As a single man it can be frustrating, but I understand that these men don’t have the luxury of making selfish decisions like I do. Some things can’t be helped.
I think what is important is finding a good balance. Women need to allow their men to have “man” time. When we’ve had our fill of being around smelly ugly dudes for a while, then we are much more appreciative of being around something soft and pretty. We’ll tolerate a trip to the mall just so we can sit down and watch you while you try on everything in your size. We’ll go see Sweet Home Alabama instead of Predator because we want to be with you, not because we have to be with you.