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Charlie, the horse, not those guys from Vietnam

This morning I woke up late and exhausted. Yoga kicked my butt yesterday because the teacher let the humidity get into the 90’s and the temperature over 100. We all thought we were going to die. So I got home and drank a bunch of water and a gatorade and still my right hamstring charlie horsed when I got up too quickly.

For some reason I’ve always had these Charlie Horse issues and I always cry out to God, “Why God, Why?!” the pain is almost unbearable and it is incapacitating. When it is over though you feel so relieved like you just finally passed a kidney stone.

So being very tired and very dehydrated I went to bed and this morning I woke up and my testicles were all bunched up in my boxers and they hurt so bad that I flew out of bed to make sure they were alright. I thought maybe I had somehow strangled them and they might just fall off. They hurt. so. bad. Note to self: sleep naked.

On an upnote, despite the heat I didn’t stop once during class. Behind me there was this red-haired dude who was in great shape. Not real muscular, no six pack abs, but he had that definition where you can see the outline of his muscles on the side of his stomach. Then there were a couple of other in shape guys that were close to my age if not slightly younger. This was motivation. Yoga really doesn’t allow you to be competitive if the room is just full of middle-aged women, however, you throw some other guys in there and we have a competition. Let’s see who can hold this pose longest. Who’s more limber? Who has to quit and give up because it is too hot?

The guy behind me had to lay down 4 different times. The guy next to me was sucking wind like he was dying and all the while I was starting to look like Rodney Yee or a member of Cirque De Soleil. There were times when I was dying, but I had something to prove: I was better than them even though they looked better than me.

So after class I went and bought some new running shoes, Asics SoLyte’s and some more Under Armor gear because summer’s here and I’ve got to continue to battle this weight I call Charlie, not the horse, but the one from Vietnam.

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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