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I’m impatient, vulgar, emotional, and given to episodes of rage…

Last night while at the movies this girl kept talking really loudly behind me. It was giving me a headache. What in the HECK could you be talking about during The Bank Job? You are female why are you even in this movie? Oh, Jason Statham. Got it. Well, shut the heck up!

Finally, I gave her the “be quiet” look. She looked me dead in the eye and kept blabbing.

I stood up after a while and said, “Are you going to talk through the whole damn movie.”

She replied, “Maybe, you need to shut your effin mouth.”

My response, “I don’t know why you have to go perpetuating a stereotype.”

She kept talking and her boyfriend said, “Hey man, the movie just started.” I just gave him a look that said, “You need to tell her to shut up.”

She continued to talk if only to prove my point.

Halfway through the movie I finally calmed down. I have no idea why I lash out in theaters. Perhaps it is the fact that I just can’t tolerate people being disrespectful of others. I paid 9 buck to see the movie, not to hear you talk non-stop.

I felt bad later for losing my temper. I could have just turned around and said, “Could you please be quiet.” That would have been the mature thing to say. But who ever said I was mature? Not the last girl I dated. Not my imaginary friend Bongo.

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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