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“Those are some UGLY flight attendants don’t you think?”

When the WASPy lady next to me asked me this I couldn’t help but laugh out loud and then shake my head in agreeance. She continued, “I mean look at her, she looks like she just got out of bed.” She was speaking the truth even though my mama taught me that if you can’t say something nice don’t say it at all.  She continued to force feed me gummy bears and chat about the junk they sell in those on-board magazines, “….Yes, people buy this stuff so that they can later sell it in their garage sales.” Again with the jokes! She was slaying me.

After we arrived in Denver Alison, John Lashmet’s wife, picked me up at the airport and we went and dined at Wahoo’s on fish tacos with plenty of fresh salsa and guacamole. It was delicious and the temperature was SUPERB! No humidity, excellent scenery, wonderful food and conversation – in the first 3o minutes of the trip I was already very happy that I had come. Alison has a nack for listening, which is good because I like to talk, and we just talked and talked and talked until I actually got a little thirsty and then Alison offered me a bottled of already-drunk-out-of water.  I was so thirsty I didn’t even care, I drank some and continued to talk her head off. (Sorry Ali, thanks for being a good sport and listening like you were really interested.)

For dinner Alison made these excellent pulled pork sandwiches and if it wasn’t for the fact that we had sort of a big late lunch followed by some Paradise Bakery cookies, then I am sure I would have made a pig out of myself on the pig sandwiches. Is that cannibalism? Sort of. 

When Alison picked me up she didn’t have her son Jackson with her – he was still at daycare. Later she picked him up while I vegged out on the couch and when he came in she said, “Go give Eddie a hug.” and without hesitation little Jackson came and hugged me. He was so cute and so loveable the entire time I was here he was really the highlight of the trip.

On Saturday we drove up to Alison’s parents place in Beaver Creek. I expected a lodge type house and so when we arrived at this large, but cozy ski resort home I was overwhelmed. Everything was so picturesque and beautiful and Alison’s parents were so unbelievably nice and sweet I felt like I was living in some other reality. A reality where there is no such thing as “ugly” – everything was so dang pretty!

John and I spent some time on an 18 hole putting course where I made back to back hole-in-ones. I was delighted at how realistic and nice the greens were and once again with the fish pond that was so clear you could see the large trout swimming in it and the large flowers and the mountains in the back drop I felt like I was in a dream land.

For lunch we ate at Lark’s Burgers and had french fries drizzled with truffle oil and sprinkled with parmesan. The burgers were excellent, but the truffle fries tasted almost the same as the regular fries and so if you go there, don’t waste your extra dollar.

After some golf John and I went back to the casa where we relaxed on the back patio with Alison and her mother. Then we got cleaned up and went into Beaver Creek resort area and tried to sit down and have pizza for dinner. That was a “no-go” as they were way behind in the kitchen and so we just ordered pizza to-go from Marco’s and had it on the back patio back at home. The temperature was so nice and the food was amazing, it was just an all-around good time.

After dinner we played Yahtzee and we all let Alison win by a LARGE margin. I even got a Yahtzee and she still beat me. I kept watching to see how she was cheating but I never figured it out.

We stayed in Beaver Creek that night and I slept like a baby. The house has a finihsed out basement complete with 3 rooms that have bathrooms in the room. It’s really dark down there and so quiet and I slept so well…I already sort of miss it and I am still at the airport!

So speaking of the airport…I got her a little late but I still would have been on time… but… they were offering vouchers for anyone willing to take a later flight because the plane was too full and with the heat they needed to make the plane lighter. $300 dollar voucher for just waiting a few hours in the airport? I can do that! But then I went up there and she said she could put me on first class and that I would get a $500 dollar voucher! BONUS! So now I am killing time with a first class ticket in hand and a $500 dollar voucher. SWEET!  This little delay has not only completely paid for this trip but will pay for the next one as well!

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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