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It was pleasing to the power of F..

When I look back on the last 5 days of my life I feel like those 5 days could have been 5 weeks for some people. Travis, my brother from another mother, had his rehearsal dinner at The Prarie House in Denton on Friday night. First the very short rehearsal at the Little Chapel in the Woods followed by me consuming 3 chicken breasts, 2 helpings of brisket, two sides of mashed taters, two sides of beans, and only 1, yes, only 1 serving of peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream.

The next day I played Ultimate Frisbee – thank God – because I needed to burn some serious calories, I did and then I skipped lunch knowing that I had a 1 o’clock wedding to attend followed by a reception that would have WEDDING CAKE! Wedding cake is one of the best forms of cake and I was glad I didn’t eat lunch because at the reception there was a sumptuous feast of meatballs, hot spinach and artichoke dip, chicken skewers covered in a Thai peanut  sauce, loads of cheese and crackers, oh, and let’s not forget the slices of prime rib and shrimp and cocktail sauce!  There was so much food and I felt it was my duty to consume most of it because I hate it when people waste money. I know they would much rather contribute to my happiness than to see the food go to waste and contribute they did!

Raissa was Travis’ quite beautiful bride and she had some very attractive bridesmaids as well, unfortunately, they were either married or from Houston and we all know that Houston is the armpit of Texas. (No offense Houstonians, but my word it is humid and ugly down there).

At the reception there was dancing and butt pinching, yes, my bum got pinched! This is inappropriate behavior ladies no matter what age you are… unless you are under my age and very hot and single, then I will allow it.

I danced a few dances and then at one point I did the Michael Jackson dance that I do and I closed it out with THE WORM. IN DRESS CLOTHES. It was a first for me. I normally save the worm for house parties and more intimate social gatherings.

People applauded and gawked at my skills because, A. I have mad dancing skills and B. It is very rare that you see someone my size do what I do. I’ll have to video it someday and put it on YouTube for the world to see. If I do, however, I will probably be chased by numerous screaming fans and old ladies that want to pinch me bum and that is why I’ve held off on doing it.

After the wedding we all went to dinner that night at Miquelitos. Then Dumas came over to the Cribbies and we hung out for a while just talking and shooting the sh… shooting the umm… what is something that alliterates well with shooting? Well, you know what I mean.

So the next morning we got up and went to Denny’s for breakfast. (Can you believe how much eating I’ve done in this post alone?!) And then we went to see Pirates 3 because we are cool like that and then we met up with the CREW the POSSE the GANG and left for Sulphur Springs where we stayed in a brand new 5 bedroom lodge type house and played all kinds of crazy bachelor party games like – Power Uno and Cranium. We got totally smashed on chocolate cookie bars, Cribby’s mom’s recipe, and then on Monday night we ate brisket, mashed potatoes, fried okra and sweet corn on the cob.  We ate and ate because we had stayed up most of the day throwing around the Frisbee and acting like idiots the way guys like to do.

We took Tuesday off from work so we could stay an extra day and recoup and overall it was a kick A weekend.

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

21 replies on “It was pleasing to the power of F..”

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