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I don’t want to meet you for coffee – w4m

Found over the the “Best of” on Craigslist which I didn’t even know existed until today…

Date: 2007-03-04, 6:45PM PST

I didn’t notice what you were wearing because I was too concerned about myself. I was too busy flipping through songs on my iPod but I know you were looking at me because I’m a female with a complex and everyone is always looking at me.

I don’t want to meet you for coffee because that’s played out. I’d rather not risk getting stood up.

I don’t want you to see this because it means that you’re here looking for these sorts of things and I would rather you stay in my mind just like you are; a transitional phantom of a man, barely in the form of one, moving across the street with the strong conviction of a man who knows where he is going. I like that.

I would rather not get into the particulars about who you really are; boxers or briefs (I don’t care), if you pick your nose or not, I don’t want to see you cry or watch you devour a bacon cheeseburger some night at dinner. And I really don’t want to see what you look like when you wake up in the morning because as carefully put-together as I am, I’m a mess at 4 in the morning, and I bet you are too. But I don’t want to know all that.

So let’s just leave it at that and go about our lives; you’ll go back to your lonely in-law apartment in the sunset and I’ll head back to my 2 bedroom on the peninsula and hopefully we’ll never see each other again because I don’t want you to see me scratching my butt in front of my house while sucking down a Camel at 2 a.m.

Please don’t contact me because then I would have to talk to you and that would just ruin everything we have.

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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