I’ve been keeping it a secret for so long now and it has been eating away at me. That is the problem with secrets, lies and deception, holding onto them is sometimes harder than dealing with the truth. So now it’s time to face the music. To put an end to all the questions that everyone keeps asking and so here, today, on the 4th of March I am going to confess this terrible secret so that I no longer have to carry this burden alone. Even more, I must ask for forgiveness in advance because what I have done goes against everything that I stand for. Everything that I have ever taught the guys that I mentor, everything my parents ever taught me.
So here it is… I am the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby.
 There. That feels better. It’s out there now and I can deal with it. The world can stop wondering who the father is, it’s me. I also shaved Britney’s head and Angelina Jolie is going to leave Brad Pitt and we are going to raise Baby Daniella together with her adopted son Maddox. Suri Cruise will also move in with us and we will be a blended family to beat all blended families.