My number one hit for this site is my post entitled E-Harmony E-Heaven or E-Hell? and I still get comments on it and it was written in March of 2005! I am sure that if I talked extensively about Match.com or any of the other dating websites out there I would get even more hits on this site but I am not into saying things over and over just to get visits to my site.
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The truth of the matter is everyone wants to find their true love and even more people want to find someone to have anonymous sexual relations with. Okay, maybe not more, but they say that a high percentage of those websites are filled with married men. If a person wanted to dig into the seedy underbelly of the internet they wouldn’t need a shovel to find more than a few men with underhanded intentions. But this post isn’t about beating an already dead horse… no, wait, it is about beating a dead horse, just not the “Men are perverts” dead horse.
This post is about relationships and about how normally it’s the women and not the men that are clueless – the men only act clueless when it benefits them. Once before on this site I quoted someone from a movie that said, “Men are inclined to lie and women are inclined to believe them.” It’s true, but once again I am sidetracking. The point of this post is to clue single women in on some simple truths (and some single men as well).
1. Straight men
do not rarely have female “best” friends. What is the point? We have nothing in common. We do not want to go and watch You’ve Got Mail, Hope Floats, The Ya Ya Sisterhood, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, How Stella Got her Groove Back, or Along Came Polly with a girl. We don’t want to see these movies at all unless they are shown on TBS or TNT and there is absolutely nothing else on the tube.
2. Men only hang out with women one-on-one if they are:
A) Interested in them
B) As I mentioned before, gay
C) They will benefit from them financially
D) They are a wing man for one of their buddies
If you don’t believe any of the above just look around you. Where are the men? With other men. The only women we want to be with is our spouse or girlfriend and that is because they are providing or will provide a basic need: sex. Haha. Just kidding… sort of.
3. Men would much rather hang out with other men and that is why men, no matter their age or marital status, still play sports, watch sports, hunt, go to war, and do other things with men. Men are fun to be around. We aren’t complicated. We can be punched and hit and farted on and it’s all good. With women we have to be gentle, loving, caring, kind, clean – all things that are not natural for us.
4. Men do not write emails, text message, or call a single gal unless their is a modicum (I never get to use that word) of interest – unless… he at one time was interested and then later became uninterested but for some reason hasn’t figured out how to end this “friendship”.
Sometimes what’s best isn’t always what’s easy. That reminds me of a line from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, “I’m afraid the time has come when it is time to choose between what is easy and what is right.” –Dumbledore
Also, a guy may still be in the “determining phase” which is the phase where he determines if this girl is someone that he wants to ask out, soon, however, this phase will end and either the emails will trickle off… or he will ask you out.
5. Men cannot be changed. We can be taught, but at the core we are still men. Trying to change a man is not only futile, but silly. We are supposed to be your opposite. We aren’t supposed to be pretty. Humans are supposed to be attracted to the opposite of themselves. That is why I am attracted to women who are shorter than me and that have hair on their heads.
I can enjoy being around a girl that wants to “just be one of the guys” but I would much rather be with a “girlie” girl. I dated a girl once that burped extremely loud and she thought it was hilarious. I thought it was a turn-off. Guys should be gentleman and women should be ladies. I’m old fashioned that way.
7. Women, dating someone is not the same as being friends with them. If a guy seems pretty decent and meets most of your qualifications it won’t hurt to let him take you out on one date, or maybe even two dates. Two dates does not mean marriage (even if you are over the age of 25). Just have fun and if there is chemistry it will all work out, if not, then just be up front and say, “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you better, but I don’t think we are right for each other.” Say it in person, in an email, a text message, a smoke signal, a carrier pigeon, a fax machine, SAY SOMETHING. Don’t just continue in a relationship that is going no where.
This goes for men as well. There is a lot to be said about communication (haha, no pun intended). Personally, I believe in doing things in person, but in today’s times sometimes it is impossible to get face-to-face communication with someone so picking up the phone works, but isn’t really the preferred method. I dated my last girlfriend for 3 weeks longer than I wanted to because I wanted to tell her in person, face-to-face, like a man. I think women deserve the face-to-face but some men do not deserve the face-to-face and so an email is a better option for ladies – especially if the guy is a psycho.
8. Don’t over-think a relationship and don’t be afraid of asking a guy “what is going on with us?” Especially if you are spending a lot of one-on-one time together. What is the worst that could happen? How can you lose what you don’t have? Being up-front is the mature adult thing to do.
Thank You for joining us this week for Eddo’s Relationship Tips of the Month. These tips are not copyrighted, certified, USDA, or Trademarked. Feel free to copy and distribute because “there is no knowledge that is not power” –Mortal Combat