1. I have a penis
2. Did I mention that I have a penis?
3. Standing while peeing
4. Being really huge and fat is something to brag about, “Dude, I am up to 350” “Dude, that’s awesome!”
5. Potty humor is a sport
6. Pretty much anything can be a sport if more than one guy is involved. I am sure curling started with just a couple of dudes sitting around with some ice, a rock and a couple of brooms, now it is an Olympic sport.
7. Marrying someone 20 years younger than us is considered “Lucky”.
8. Eating large quantities of food in a single sitting is considered “Awesome”.
9. Shaving your head is cool.
10. Burping, scratching, farting, picking may not be appreciated but is almost expected.
11. Playing golf with the boss can help you advance in your career.
12. Not talking is okay when you are with the fellas.
13. Taking a picture of whatever you did in the toilet or even just calling your buddies in for a look is fine and often times followed with an “Attaboy” and a high five.
14. 1 pair of dress shoes and 1 pair of tennis shoes is really all that is required to make it through life.
15. No need for Make-up or deodorant that is specially PH balanced.
16. No bras
17. No thong underwear
18. No pantyhose
19. No long bathroom lines
20. NO PMS! No bloating or cramps(How do you ladies deal with this? what an annoyance)
21. No birth control pills
22. How did I forget leg shaving? haha. Thanks Kelly.
I’m sure I’ll have more to add to this as I think of them. Thanks to Jes for inspiring this with her most recent post where she had snot drip on her boss’ desk. She was mortified where if that had happened to me it would have been a laugh riot. My entire team would have gotten a laugh out of it.