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Kickball

When was the last time you played a good game of kickball? Well that’s too long…

Last night I played in a charity kick ball tournament. I was actually a little worried that I would make a fool of myself because I am not very good at sports that involve bases. Softball, Baseball, Kickball – when it comes to any sport where throwing a ball is involved I normally look like an epileptic having a seizure while being covered in tar. It’s not pretty. So last night I prayed to God that he would give me grace and make me look like Pelé or Tatu – God is a worker of miracles and so I knew that I wasn’t asking too much.

We started the game in the outfield and thankfully none of the balls came flying in my direction. I can catch a frisbee, but a round rubber dodge ball like ball is a different story. Imagine someone trying to catch something with your elbows and that would give you a slight picture of me trying to catch a kickball.

Finally we got up to kick, but they got us out before it was my turn. LIVID! Just like when I was a kid, it seemed that we were always out before I got up to bat. That is probably why I’m still not very good at these types of sports, as a kid I never got to play! hrmpf!

So after another 3 quick outs I got up to kick and BA-DOAW! I ran like Maurice Green around the bases and scored a home run. After my amazing performance everyone seemed to be inspired and we scored 10 runs with 2 outs and by the end of the inning it was 11 to 6 and we were winning!

I stood in the outfield again next to second base. I tried to think like a cat. I wanted to be agile and deft and quick on my feet, but most importantly I didn’t want to look stupid after my glorious home run. So once again I didn’t even have the opportunity to look like a fool, the ball never came in my direction and before I knew it I was up to kick again. Home Run again! ROCK ON! Pele and Tatu move over, Eddie Renz is going to go to the Olympics in Kick Ball!

In the end, our team didn’t win. We were outnumbered by 3 players and so defensively we just couldn’t compete with them, but we had fun and we get to play again because you have to get beat twice in order to be out!

So yeah, if you see my name in lights, something like “Zen KickBall Master Renz”, then you will know that I took this gift all the way. Special thanks to God who gave me the ability to kick like Bruce Lee and the legs to run probably faster than Asafa Powell and Maurice Green on their best days.

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

One reply on “Kickball”

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