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Baby raising is a breeze… I mean Puh…Lease…

Joe called me earlier in the week and said that raising a kid was really “rocking him and Amber’s world.” He may not have used that exact phrase, but it was pretty close. He went on to mention how the baby kept him and Amber awake at night and how a baby really ties up your free time. Blah Blah Blah. Cry me a river. I was down there for the weekend and Abigail was a gem.

That baby rarely cries and she is so cute that even when she cries it is like sweet melodies sung from an angel. The entire time I was there she didn’t go to the bathroom once. She never cried in the evening, I slept straight through the night and she didn’t wake me even once! During the day she would snuggle up on my chest and sleep and it was very sweet. When I got tired of holding her I would just sit her in her chair and she would sleep quietly. At one point I asked Amber, “Ummmm…. what is so hard about this?” I just don’t get it. These babies don’t seem all that difficult to raise.

I’ve heard women complain about raising a baby. Sore nipples, aching backs, sleepless nights – I think they are making all that up so they can get some sympathy. It is obvious that these little things are a breezer to raise. So easy that I saw one lady just leave hers in the car while she went into Starbucks. The car was still running and so I think the baby was probably keeping an eye on the car for her. See, who says kids are less responsible these days? They will watch the car for you and keep your friends occupied when they come to visit. Amber and Joe left me in the living room with Abigail and I was entertained for hours – something Joe and Amber have a hard time doing.

Amber and Joe are great parents but I think they are upset because Abigail is getting all the attention lately and that is why they say it is hard to raise a baby. I made sure to pay special attention to them while I was there over the weekend so they wouldn’t feel left out.

So yeah, that was pretty much my weekend. Having a baby is obviously gravy and that little Abigail is so cute I just wanted to sop her up with a biscuit. I can’t wait till she is older so that I can teach her to say, “Uncle Eddo’s the Best!” which I am sure I won’t have to teach her, she’ll probably say it on her own without any prompting.

Love you guys.

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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