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MTV Music Awards

I watch them. I didn’t grow up with MTV but I understand it’s allure. They are brilliant at marketing and I’m going to sound like a backwoods Creole when I say this, but MTV is the Devil.

Tonight the awards are going to be on and I am hoping to catch glimpses of celebrities like Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Jack Black, Rihanna, Beyonce, Fall Out Boy and so many more.

You may wonder why I chose to include Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie on this list, but the reason is simple, they both fascinate me. I must admit I watched The Simple Life and most of the time I just changed it after a few uncomfortable minutes, but there are moments on that show that are truly classick!

Paris Hilton also is very alluring. She reminds me of Tinkerbell from Peter Pan. She glows. She has figured out a way to make herself a household name without doing anything really remarkable.

I do worry about Nicole Richie. She needs to eat something immediately – my word – she is getting so thin it is scary. I normally don’t mention that sort of stuff on my site, but A) It’s the truth and I saw her in a bikini picture somewhere on the internet and she looked like an Alien and B) I need to say lots of celebrity names in my blog because my readership has hit a serious lull. I need readers! And so I am stooping to the celebrity name dropping thing again. Don’t judge me. At least not harshly.

What other celebrities can I list here:

Justin Timberlake who is awesome
Cameron Dias is no longer dating Justin Timberlake
I still have a celebrity crush on Uma Thurman
I don’t find Kate Bosworth at all attractive after her dark-haird role on Superman Returns.
Dave Chappelle’s the Lost Episodes are so funny. Have you see him do Negrodamus?

Negrodamus, why do white people love Wayne Brady so much?

Negrodamus: Because Wayne Brady makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcom X. (Now that is funny)

Tiger Woods continues to win a lot of Golf.

Andre Agassi is retiring.

The Pussy Cat Dolls are coming out with their own reality show.

I’m a huge fan of Jeremy Pivens. Do you get the reference “Buttercream, Buttercream”? Did you know he used to be on Ellen back when Ellen Degeneres had a sitcom. A sitcom where she played straight and then came out as a lesbian and then the show bombed. Ugh. I was so livid. I wish so bad that she wasn’t a lesbian because I want to marry her. She’s funny. Really funny. A little cooky though on her TV talk show.

Many apologies for this post. Maybe it will attract some new visitors so I don’t have to resort to posting nude photos of myself on the site. I would only give a rear view silly. Their is nothing more frightening than male genitalia, but I have a nice looking bum if I do say so myself.

Terrell Owens. I’m interested to see how he will do for Dallas. Did you see him on the cover of ESPN magazine. That brother is RIPPED. I don’t like him, but I woulnd’t mind having his abs.

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

One reply on “MTV Music Awards”

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