When I was growing up I always wanted to be a rock star. I wanted to be a rockstar because I loved to sing, but also because I wanted to be on stage one day and then I could sing a song like Toby Keith, “HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW! (B#*$%)” Okay, there isn’t a “B” word in Toby’s song, but it is implied and that is exactly what I wanted to imply – not just to the girls, but to everyone who was ever cruel to me – boys, girls, teachers, cats.
Now 20 semod years later I still find myself saying, “How do you like me now”, but the question isn’t vindictive and it is mostly just to myself in the mirror. (Imagine me saying it with an eyebrow raised and a suggestive, yet humorous, smirk on my face.)
I don’t really think any of us end up being exactly the way we fantasized ourselves to be in adulthood. Being an adult isn’t as glamorous. We can’t tell everyone to STICK IT!. We can’t tell our boss to “Take this job and shove it!” and we can’t smoke pot, chase girls, and cruise the strip in our IROC-Z with t-tops. Nope. Unfortunately, we are forced to decide in just 4 (8 for some of us) short years what we want to do with the rest of our lives. We are made to choose a career at a time in our lives when we hardly even know who we are or what we really like to do. It’s an inadequate system but there doesn’t seem to be any changing it. (insert shoulder shrug here)
I never thought at 30 I would be doing what I am doing, but I like it. This path really wasn’t the one that I chose for myself, but it is a wide path with many off-shoots that allow for creativity and fulfillment. When I was younger I always dreamed of having a life less ordinary, but now, I realize that ordinary isn’t so bad. Ordinary is having time to spend with friends and family. Ordinary is making enough money to be able to take a trip to see friends that you met online. Ordinary is being content with what I have and finding happiness in the simplicity and the complexity of life.
So 10 year old Eddie wanted to be a rock star, 20 year old Eddie just wanted to graduate college and now 30 year old Eddie loves his job and his life and yes, he would like to get married someday and have 19 kids, but that too will fall into the blissfully wonderfully category of ordinary and ordinary is alright with me.