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Like Gag Me With a Spoon!

Lately my gag reflex seems to have increased times 10. I have an electric toothbrush and anytime I go near my back upper teeth I gag. Teeth need to be cleaned and so normally end up gagging so vehemently that my eyes water and my nose runs and whatever I have eaten in the previous 30 minutes threatens to come back up. The dentist told me I need to concentrate on breathing through my nose when this happens, but for some reason the more I think about not gagging – the more I gag.

And speaking of gagging…

The other day I was shopping for shoes at a place like DSW and this woman let her 2 kids run pell mell about the store screaming at the top of their lungs. One of them ran into me and the mother told her 2 year old daughter “watch where you’re going” in a sweet voice and then looked at me like “kids will be kids”. I gave her the “Your kids are annoying and you need to control them!” look and I was a little disgusted. You could tell she was one of those mom’s that didn’t believe in disciplining her children and she probably allowed them to play with matches and gasoline too.

Changing the subject back to hygiene…

I haven’t had a shower curtain for the last 5 showers I have taken at my house. Travis stayed over at my place on Tuesday and he knocked the shower curtain down – but it wasn’t his fault. The rod just won’t stay in place and so I went and bought a new one. It won’t stay up either – the curtain is just too heavy!!! UGH! So the floors are swimming in water when I am done with my shower – but at least they sparkly clean when I get done drying up all the water. No need to mop once a month is you have a flood to clean up every day!

Change the subject back to kids and bizarre parents…

Yesterday I was eating at Taco Cabana and this little boy of about 7 is about to get a drink. He looks at his dad and says, “OOOH RootBeer I want root beer!!” He said it so giddily that you might have thought he was seeing the second coming of Christ. His dad was also excited, but for a different reason, he said, “Look Bobby they have red cream soda you’ve never had that before!” By this time the grandparents and the mother had congregated behind all of us. I was sweetening my tea with some sweet and low. The grandmother said in an almost Minnesotan accent, “Oh, red cream soda, mmm, that’s good their Bobby dontchayknow”. They continued to worship the red cream soda pointing out it’s many wonders and it’s capacity for life change. In that 60 seconds even I started to want the red cream soda and I hate red cream soda or Big Red as it was called when I was a kid. What flavor is that stuff anyway?

Happy Birthday to Amstaff Mom – today is her birthday!!! Go wish her a Happy 30th B-Day!!!

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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