Fattest, Sexiest, Flashiest Fireman saves cat from Tree – with Style

Fireman Dale Wilson who is not only a Fireman but also a fat male dancer saved a cat from a tree on Friday. Upon arriving at the scene Mr. Wilson turned the sirens down on the fire truck and started blasting a mix of hip hop tunes. After several 8 counts of hip thrusting and maniacal gyrations Mr. Wilson pulled out a ladder (covered in sparkly sequins) climbed the tree and rescued the cat.

A crowd gathered around to watch the rescue and then stayed for an encore performance as well as hot dogs and cokes provided by Fireman Dale.

Dale offered to teach the crowd the dance moves if they would come back his house, but apparently everyone in the crowd had a life and they needed to get back to it.

Dale was so upset that the people didn’t stay to learn the routines that he whipped out his hose and started blasting people with a jet stream of water. Then he laughed wildly and started saying “Wet T-Shirt Contest! Wet T-Shirt Contest!”

When asked of his bizarre behavior Dale responded with “Well if they don’t want to learn how are they gonna be able to perform at the next cat rescue? You can’t perform if you don’t learn the frickin ROUTINE!!!”

Dale was later tested for drug and alcohol usage but was found to be clean. After asking some of his fellow firemen they said that this was pretty much the way the Fattest, Sexiest, Flashiest Fireman always acts.

(okay, this is mostly an inside Mav ManiAAC joke but hopefully you can appreciate some of the humor.)

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

2 replies on “Fattest, Sexiest, Flashiest Fireman saves cat from Tree – with Style”

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