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Fitting In – Part II

Tears flowed from my little brown eyes as if my head contained an internal faucet with an incessant drip. When I was younger -I always seemed to be crying.

You see, I was born on the planet Criesalot, which is right next Planet Sensitivitia. Both planets are located in the Galaxy of Emotia. I wasn’t a sad little kid at all, most of the time I was extremely happy, but when I got upset, I got upset hard.

I don’t know why I was such an emotional kid growing up, I still get emotional now if a close friend dies or I see someone being mean to a puppy, but I don’t cry when the teacher won’t call on me when I have my hand raised. (They do after I threaten to beat them within 1 inch of their life if they don’t! lol.)

Stroll back with me to third grade, this lane of memories can get a little bumpy, so try to keep up…

I was sitting in class and it is MY BIRTHDAY. My mother is going to bring a cake to school, I have told everyone and for some reason I expect special treatment in class because IT IS MY BIRTHDAY. When I raise my hand for help with a math problem, the teacher doesn’t come over immediately and help me. Later when I know the answer to something, she doesn’t call on me either and I am thinking to myself, “Does this lady not realize that IT IS MY BIRTHDAY?!!” Eventually I just put my head down on my desk in defeat and turn on the waterworks.

I was one of those kids that was normally really good in school. I made good grades, I said “yes mam” and “no sir”, but on the days that I got emotional, I was the kid that caused teachers to commit suicide. It is a good thing all of my elementary schools were on the fourth floor or else I am sure some of my teachers would have flung themselves out the window preferring death to the sound of my sulking.

I remember my mom finally showing up that day, she brought me a cake that had football players on it. The field goals were made out of straws and there was green frosting for grass and little plastic football players. I was so happy. Seeing my mother was like an injection of the most powerful anti-depressant on the planet. I was instantly happy and I even felt a little guilty for being such a lamo by crying all day – ON MY BIRTHDAY. I don’t remember a single moment of the day after we opened the cake, the day ended on an upnote I am sure – but that wasn’t the end of my emotional outbursts, those didn’t end until much later in life – but thank God they ended.

And when they finally ended I added them to my list of…

How NOT to fit in

1. Make fun of old people
2. Cry like a baby all the time (Somebody call the Whaaaambulance!)

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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