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Gym Etiquette

I know that when you read this blog you probably think that I am always handing out unsolicited advice, well I am, and you are still reading it and so I am probably talking to you.

Lately I have noticed lots of disconcerting things happening at our work gym. TI has a great little gym that is full of great weights and cool people, but sometimes those people get out of hand and I need to point out some things that need to be addressed and remedied.

1. If you look like Chewbacca and you have more hair showing on your body than skin, then there is never a time when you are allowed to wear a tank top. If at all possible, please wear a full jogging suit to cover up your entire body and a portable Dirt Devil wet/dry vac might come in handy if you sweat alot.

2. If you don’t know how to use a piece of equipment, ask someone. The tricep pull-down machine is not designed to workout your entire upper torso.

3. Weight Slamming – For resistance machines that have cables you should never need to slam down the weights after each rep. The incessant slamming for 3 sets of 8 reps is giving everyone migraines and we would like to ask you to cease and desist with the slamming.

4. Leg Press Overload – Guys, this is strictly for you – Even my sister can do close to 800 pounds on the leg press and so there is never a time where you need to load the weight press machine to its maximum capacity. This is showing off in the worst way. Also, do not go and ask someone to “spot” you on the leg press machine – especially when the spotter weighs 1/8th of the amount of weight you have loaded onto the machine – if the weight is crushing you, it is going to crush him as well.

5. Grunting – Grunting is fine when you are busting out your last few reps, however, make sure your grunting is indeed necessary and normal sounding. Some of you are grunting and those grunts need to be saved for the bathroom.

6. Short Shorts and Spandex – these items of clothing were designed for women only – nuff said.

7. Deodorant – I even have to get onto some ladies for this one – This product IS necessary if you are going to run next to me for 45 minutes. It is very hard to hold your breath when you are running 3-5 miles.

8. Body Detail – the locker room is not your own personal bathroom. There is no need to comb your hair while you are naked. Showering is fine, everyone showers, but there is NEVER a need for in-depth body scrubbing. When I walk into the shower I do not want to see you working overtime reaching back and scrubbing your rear, please keep the detail work at the casa.

Thank you for following these rules.

-The Management

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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