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The Great Butt Rap-Off

Since not everyone reads the comments I had to post these here from yesterday’s comment section. And I added a new rap at the bottom…

CAPTAIN S.O.S. said…
I put ads on Butts and I cannot lie
those kind of Butts that make grown men cry
some call it a sin with a lack of taste
But that round thing in your face

Eddo puts a link there, right on her sphincter
So why ya advertise on a Honda, Instead of a big-bottomed Ronda
Cause Ronda booty gets more eyes den Hondas
My Eddo-says-he don’t want none of those little buns, hun
You can go to Bens site if ya choken
And read about PP’s that are broken
But Eddo Advertising on Ass
So say that it lack da class
So they “X” out and leave it
While others stick around and read it
So Cosmo says you’re fat
Well Eddo puts ads on that!
‘Cause your waist is small and your curves are smokin!
JEs is googlin PP’s that are broken!!

MsThang said…
OMG SOS that was hilarious! Eddo have we determined if that is Steve? hahahhaha
3:30 PM

CAPTAIN S.O.S. said…
You think you know my identity
I wear designer jeans that are so spendy
Eddo aint got enough loot
to pay for ads to put upon these glutes!
Other men just cant compare
or compete with my deriere
they can try and act tough or neato
kinda like Eddo in a speedo
but when it comes down to it they just cant hang
did i answer your question Ms Thang?


Eddo said…
O.M.W.!!!! That was too funny, let me try…

Captain sphincter your rhyme is broke
Like your flat buttocks it’s such a joke
You only wish you had my rear
makes women grin from ear to ear
I’ll put no buttvertising on your ass
When I saw your picture I said, “I’ll Pass!”

CAPTAIN S.O.S. said…
Eddo so large and juicey
never has da pants that are loosey
dont make me start my wrath
cause ads on your ass are paragraphs!
Please know that I am kiddin
but a grand is where they start the biddin
Cause ads on my ass are like Gold
now iM done with your site.. its old

Eddo said…
Captain SOS is all lotso talk
His butt so flat he can barely walk
His pants are baggin, his jeans is old
His mouth is full of Fool’s Gold
He wishes that his butt was glitter
Cause then he wouldn’t be so bitter
I told him he bes not step to this
Or his broke butt I’d have to dis
I feel bad for him cause my butt is bank,
And all the ladies told me – CAPTAIN SOS’ BUTT IS STANK!!!

CAPTAIN S.O.S. said…
As tears are streaming down my face
Theres a vision I just cant erase
Eddo shakin ass on the dance floor
with little girlies runnin to the door”
HIS ASS KNOCKED MY GIRLFRIEND TO THE GROUND!”
When he’s by the speakers you cant hear no sound
God forbid you ever see that bare
like Chewbaka its got too much hair
The captains butt is smooth and pretty
makes the ladies all giddy
its cool just cut down on the lunches
“Bally Fitness” has aerobics and crunches


jes said…
oh what have i been missin’
eddo and captain are each dissin
‘but-you-ain’t-seen-nothin
unless-you’ve-glanced-at-my-muffin!
you can eat cookies and custard
but one look will leave you flustered,
cause nothing can come close
to the bootie that i boast
so you boys just need to jump back
my ass is whack
and you can’t compare with that
you ready for an attack?
you oughta KNOW that i’m ready for combat!

CAPTAIN S.O.S. said…
Jes I think your style is slippin
its diet Coke you outta be sippin
That ass you claim ta boast
girl you outta switch ta toast

Sorry I dont mean to be rude
but ya stepped to me and now you screwed
maybe you an eddo need combine yo powers
Like two big butt twin towers
I think Im done
fo’ you grab yo gun
(Eddo still fills up showers)


jes said…
captain you’re misinformed
tho i understand your body is deformed
what you’ve got in your trunkain’t enough
to garner the worship of a chinese monk
i’ve developed somewhat of a following
sorry to leave you, i know you’ll be wallowing
in your own misery once you see
that your words are nil to the highest degree
so get back to your sphincter
before it gets any pinker
cause i whoop ass whereever i go
and honey, you’re about to have an electric glow.

And Eddo finishes with one more that is new to this post…

Captain SOS thought he brought it
But brotha nobody bought it…
We all know your butt is white
And my butt is DY-NO-MITE!

When people see your butt they scream
It’s so pimply that it is obscene
Like a freakshow at the fair
Your butt’s so ugly it’s rare

On the front page of the Globe
Your butt they had to probe
Cause it must have came from outer space
and it looks just like your face!

But Eddo has buns of steel
No need for crunches or diet meals
All he needs is lots of protection
From the ladies that want his affection

So Captain SOS you need to bounce
Cause brotha you just got trounced
You thought you had Jes and I beat
But we don’t even know how to spell defeeet.

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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