Envy II – Back in Rare Form

I just got in from another wedding. During the ceremony there was this Asian guy Philip playing the guitar for his girlfriend Katie while she sang. Every time I see them together I am extremely envious of Philip because he has a sumo hot girlfriend and he is one of those really cool Asians that everyone loves and so I can’t hope that he will suddenly morph into a gorilla and run off to an African Safari. (Dear God, please turn Philip into a gorilla and have him shipped to Africa. Amen. Okay, so I’m not perfect, but neither are you and when you point a finger you have 4 pointing right back at you!)

Katie is one of those girls that is really pretty in a country sort of way. Thick dirty blond hair, a smattering of freckles, green eyes the color of fresh cut grass – she is simplistic beauty inside and out and maybe I think she is so hot because I. can’t. have. her.

After the wedding at the reception I danced and danced and did my Michael Jackson routine and people screamed and applauded and I am almost certain that there were a few people that were praying to God that I would morph into a gorilla and be shipped off to Africa.

By Evan Stark

Eddie Renz is an avid fan of Egyptology, Wilbur Smith and bacon. Not a fan of humility but often finds himself humbled when he is around people who understand numbers like the Fibonacci sequence and Pi.

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