Friday, April 01, 2005

Test Tickle

This is it, the end of the puns and the below the belt talk - and boy do we end it on an up note - if you know what I mean...

I had no idea that a sonogram could be sooooooo long and sooooo akward. It was a LADY that gave me the sonogram, probably my age, blonde hair - fortunately she was married and had her kids photos plastered about the sonogram room. Thank Heavens, I needed something distracting to look at.

I am laying naked from the waste down on this table in a dimly lit room. I kept saying to myself, "Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, etc." I know them all by heart and they kept my mind from wandering. Ladies, you have no idea how easy it is for a man to get - happy, but it doesn't take much and man, I still can't believe I maintained control.

Kelly (I figure we can be on first name basis since she is the only female to have seen me naked other than my mom) says to me, "This gel is heated so it shouldn't be too uncomfortable." Are you kidding? My heart was racing, I did everything, and I mean everything to keep my body from making flight reservations. I could just hear her saying, "Well, it looks like you're ready for take-off", and trying to act all nonchalant. ( I hope my mom isn't reading this.)

Well, after about 20 minutes of probing, she actually said the word probe, she determined that I was okay and that it was probably just an infection like Dr. Allen had said. Ugh. So glad all of that is over.

Thanks for all of the great support and prayers and laughs through all of this, the internet is a great thing in times like this.


Katie said...


2:17 PM  
Katie said...


2:17 PM  
Katie said...


2:17 PM  
Eddo said...

Did I cross the line? Was THAT - FINALLY an overshare? I was really trying to be decent but also trying to give you the full picture, since I was giving the Full Monty...

batter low, must abort.

2:20 PM  
Katie said...

Katie clears her throat

Eddie if I don't make eye contact with you the next time we meet don't take it personally.

On the same note: I just told my VP (vice principal - who is younger than me) to call me Katarina, princess of the Netherlands, to which he replied "you mean of the netherworld" laughter ensued on my part to which he was surprised that I caught his drift and then a little embarresed. The funny part (well all of it is funny) is that is just happened after I read your post.

2:26 PM  
Katie said...

I meant nether-region (neterworld isn't funny)

2:34 PM  
Ben said...

"Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, etc."


Whatever it takes Eddie...



Funniest overshare I have ever heard... "I did everything, and I mean everything to keep my body from making flight reservations."


"Kelly (I figure we can be on first name basis since she is the only female to have seen me naked other than my mom)..."


Did she make Eye contact with you when you left the sonogram room??


3:03 PM  
jes said...

eddie, i'm not sure it's an issue of you FINALLY crossing the line. i think it was crossed long ago.

that said, i'm glad everything is all right.

next game night, katie and i might where shields over our eyes from knowing just a bit too much information, and from being a bit embarrassed at knowing all that information.

of course, we could just use it against you and blackmail you.

except, for the Internet knowing. now it's just common knowledge.

but if it weren't, we'd TOTALLY blackmail you. ;)

3:16 PM  
jes said...

not where shields, but WEAR shields.

please excuse my inability to think so late on a Friday afternoon. :)

3:17 PM  
Ben said...

It's okay Jes... must just still be flustered from Eddie's post.


3:28 PM  
Anonymous said...

Glad all is ok--just the same though it was really funny

4:09 PM  
Amanda Sue said...

eddie - 20 minutes? with no liftoff? that is impressive for any man! i give you props for the insane amount of control you have over that region of your body!

(jessica - i automatically edit everything YOU type b/c i know you are a perfectionist. i know that if there is a mistake, i just have to keep reading, because you edit yourself as well... makes me laugh every time!)

4:40 AM  
Amanda Sue said...

yes, i am awake and functioning at 6:40 on a saturday morning. :(

4:40 AM  
Eddo said...

AMANDA SUE!! You are up way too early - must. go. back. to. sleep.

9:02 AM  
Edgy Mama said...

Below the waist, not below the waste (or was that a pun as well?). Very funny. So, the begging question is, of course, how does one develop an infection in one's one testicle? AF

10:23 AM  
SquareSlant said...

Thrilled that the test came out negative!

6:34 AM  
Anonymous said...

Big Fella, I laughed out loud for a good two minutes after reading the post. I am thankful and greatful that it is only an infection. I got much respect for the self control to maintain your dignity while lying naked with a female using "warm gel".

9:01 AM  

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