Wednesday, April 27, 2005

105 Truths and 5 Lies

This post was not requested, I was actually beaten, whipped, and locked in a room without food until I hammered out this list of 100 Things About Me. Well, obviously I would not be coerced into doing this assignment like anyone else. Not even when they held my eyes open and drizzled hot wax onto my retinas while giving me a root canal without pain killers, nope, I wouldn't do it their way. Finally they gave up and accepted this list of 100 Things and 5 Lies. Can you spot the lies?

1. I like to exaggerate
2. I am fanatical about spelling, I was blessed with an innate sense of spell
3. I cry in sappy movies and I get really embarrassed about it
4. Chocolate Chip cookies are my biggest crave
5. Growing up I never attended the same school for more then 2 years consecutively
6. I love the ocean, but I don't like jelly fish, they don't taste anything like jelly!
7. I hate June bugs and Grasshoppers, but I don’t mind spiders or snakes
8. I would never go on Fear Factor
9. I would LOVE to go on Survivor
10. I became a Christian at the age of 5
11. I can sing, dance, and paint, but I can’t draw to save my life
12. I am gifted in interior design
13. I thought about being a clothing designer or a cutting hair for a living, but didn’t pursue those dreams because of stereotypes
14. I was born in Mexico and smuggled into the US in a large flour tortilla
15. Growing up I was afraid to tell people I was part black
16. When I was 16 my girlfriend broke up with me when I told her I was part black and it almost killed me.
17. Now I am proud of my heritage and who I am and how God made me
18. I had liposuction at 22 after losing 113 pounds in 9 months
19. I went to China on a mission trip in 2000, I loved it, but I couldn’t wait to get back to America.
20. I am a music fanatic, some songs speak to me on such a deep emotional level that if I allow it, they will make me cry.
21. I am very uninhibited and open when it comes to trying new things
22. I love culture and admire people that embrace theirs.
23. I went to Texas Women’s University partly to be controversial but mostly because I get along with women so well.
24. I have huge calve muscles and I never have to work them out
25. I hate scary movies
26. My parents are 20 years apart, they married at the ages of 23 and 43
27. My mom is one of the funniest, neatest people I know and I hope that I can have kids someday just so they will have the chance to meet her.
28. I wanted to be a high school teacher for a while, but it didn’t work out, now I praise God that I didn’t end up in that career.
29. I love anything that has to do with ancient civilizations, buried treasure, ruins – it all fascinates me.
30. My favorite author is Dean Koontz – read Life Expectancy – you’ll thank me for suggesting it.
31. I wrote an 85,000 word novel in less than a month, no I am not published – yet.
32. Growing up I used to have to hold the legs of rabbits while my dad would chop their heads off, I hated it.
33. I love the taste of good fried rabbit.
34. I was a rodeo clown for one summer it was scary and exciting at the same time
35. I like to use products from Bath and Body Works, but I never by them myself.
36. One time my dad and I caught 156 fish in one week using trot lines, we would have so many fish that we would have to use a wheel barrow to cart them back to the truck.
37. I can clean and filet fish faster than you can say Atchafalaya.
38. Growing up my parents used to take us to Red River to swim and camp, now you couldn’t pay me to get in that river.
39. All of my relatives are from Oklahoma and I am part Crow Indian
40. I went to private school most of my life, but I also went to home school for two years of high school.
41. Our house burned down on October 7, 1990, it got struck by lightning, I was 14 and it was more exciting than it was depressing.
42. Growing up my parents let over 35 different people live with us at varying times
43. I had a foster brother for a number of years, his name was Terry Wayne, but we called him Bubba.
44. My grandfather, my mom’s dad, looked to me a lot like Robert Deniro, unfortunately he died because he drank too much. I miss him.
45. Once when my grandfather got drunk my grandmother maced him, we were outdoors and the wind blew the mace into mine and my sisters’ face, it made my eyes burn and I was terrified.
46. My real dad has never really had much to do with me, but my step-dad is a blessing and a God send, I am who I am because of the way he and my mother raised me.
47. I get my sense of humor from both of my parents, they are both extremely funny
48. Growing up we rarely listened to anything but Christian music, I remember our entire song collection consisted of mostly Michael W. Smith, Amy Grant, Steven Curtis Chapman, and Sandy Patti – we were so contemporary.
49. My sister Precious had Scoliosis as a child, one leg was 5 inches shorter than the other, my parents took her to Word of Faith church and Bob Tilton prayed for her and God healed her leg, it literally grew and she never had to have a steel rod put in her spine like the doctors had planned – God still works miracles.
50. I know how to do the worm and the moonwalk
51. When I was in school I was never very popular
52. I got punched in the eye in 6th grade and in 8th grade, both times I was defending myself because people were making fun of my high voice.
53. I had extreme self-esteem issues growing up because of my voice and I used to sit in my truck and yell hoping that if I made my throat sore my voice would get deeper.
54. I have never told anyone before about yelling to make my voice deeper
55. Learning to be funny at the right times made me popular in college – finally.
56. Today I am so popular that sometimes I am arrogant about it and I feel bad about it – but only a little bit.
57. I took Martial Arts for two semesters in college and two semesters of Country and Western dance – I can dance and kick ass.
58. I also know how to Swing, Salsa and Merengue sometimes spelled Meringue
59. I like dance naked in the rain while eating a bag of cheetos
60. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year
61. When I was 12 I worked at a horse ranch for a year, I got kicked in the leg so hard once that for years after I had a horseshoe indentation on my left thigh from the scar tissue and internal damage.
62. I jumped off a porch when I was 13 and I landed on a piece of metal and tore the back of my leg open. It required 21 stitches. I still have a big scar and I tell people the scar is from a shark bite.
63. I have never taken steroids, but I have thought about it often
64. I don’t take drugs, but I talk about them often
65. I use hyperbole to get my point across; some people would call it lying.
66. When I was 16 I was 6’ 2” 280 pounds
67. I was 16 my senior year and turned 17 that December
68. I never went to Kindergarten
69. I can write poetry on a whim a gift I got from my mother, are they great poems, not all the time, but I still write them.
70. I don’t like things that crunch too loudly, like hard fortune cookies, croutons, certain chips, some types of lettuce, etc. I don’t like the way it sounds inside my head.
71. I can do a really good cartwheel and a forward handspring – my sisters taught me at a very young age.
72. I like doing Yoga and if I could, I would move to a monastery and become a Shaolin Monk so I could become a Kung Fu master.
73. I have never wanted “six pack” abs.
74. I love Will Ferrell and Cheri O’Teri and I can do a bunch of their Spartan Cheers from Saturday Night Live.
75. Once I made a raft out of sheetrock and Styrofoam – as soon as I put it into the water it fell apart, I thought it was because I didn’t use enough 16 penny nails.
76. We had horses growing up, mine was an Appaloosa, she kicked me one day when I was brushing her tail and my good portion of my arm turned purple.
77. I taught Eddie Vedder how to play the guitar
78. I dislocated my shoulder “Towel” wrestling my junior year at Liberty Christian School, it would dislocate while I slept for years thereafter.
79. To this day I cannot throw a baseball or a football very hard because of my shoulder.
80. I love to play Ultimate Frisbee and I am freakin’ awesome at it.
81. I never really loved playing football, as a lineman there wasn’t enough glory, and I get tired of people asking me if I play football and then asking me why not.
82. I wrote a song called, “He hears me when I pray”.
83. I used to lead praise and worship with Cody Miller for the youth group at Denton Bible Church
84. My mom used to make me sing for my relatives as a kid, she used to just put a quarter in us and wind us up – me and my sisters are still singing.
85. I love swimming in lakes and I have been shoulder deep in many ponds using a net to scoop out bait with my dad. He wasn’t afraid and so I wasn’t afraid, sometimes we would dredge up snakes and snapping turtles, dad would kill them if he had the chance, or just let them go.
86. Sometimes I have an irrational fear that when I open my eyes after washing my hair in the shower that I will be blind
87. I hate checking voicemail
88. I hate the sound of an alarm clock
89. I love cooking for large groups of people
90. I make killer fried chicken, so good that I have thought about opening my own restaurant and putting KFC out of business.
91. I can snow ski and snow board, but I prefer snow skiing
92. I think some people snow board just because it looks cool, not because it is more fun.
93. When I was 25 I had successfully memorized the entire Bible including the Apocrypha
94. I do things a lot of the time just because it looks cool.
95. I am very versatile, I can chill out for long periods of time and just read and listen to music, or I can go non-stop, it all depends on who I am with or what I am reading.
96. I can’t grow a full beard, but I have always wished that I could.
97. I told a girl I was dating that I couldn’t grow a beard and she said, “Really? I thought all men could grow full beards if they wanted to.”
98. I kissed a girl once on a first date and when I called her back for a second date she said, “I am not that kind of girl” and she said I took advantage of her. I saw her later and I was with someone better looking then her and suddenly she was dying for me to actually take advantage of her.
99. I have never taken advantage of any girl
100. I have been taken advantage of a few times myself.
101. I am a huge fan of Tracy Chapman, I can listen to her music over and over again and it never gets old.
102. I have never been good at math, and I am not upset about it, I am so good at so many other things, we can’t all be good at everything.
103. Someone once said, “To know a man well is to know oneself” I know myself very well.
104. I love kids and someday I would like to have at least a boy and a girl, but I hope to have two of each.
105. I grew up in the country, but I love the city.
106. I prefer paper over plastic – preferably in denominations of 50 and 100.
107. My favorite movie of all time is I Heart Huckabees, my least favorite is The Princess Bride
108. I have the entire Cher and Barbara Streisand CD collections
109. I love to oil paint, and I think I am good at it even though growing up I never thought I was creative or good at anything artistic
110. One time I found a nickel bag of marijuana when I was working at a gas station – I didn’t smoke it.


Angelica said...

That was great!!!!
I loved when you said that you like to dance naked in the rain while eating a bag of cheetos. I like to dance in the rain but not naked.
I'm surprised that you don't have thousands of gals following you around and screaming your name.
I am your #1 fan!!!!!

6:22 AM  
Robin said...

Cool list Eddo! I am not even going to guess on the lies because I might mistake some of the embellishments for lies! :)

6:31 AM  
jes said...

eddie. i have a couple thoughts:
1. this list was SO longer than 100 truths and five lies. just so you know i can count, i included this thought.

2. Number 14 made me laugh out loud.

3. I think number 19 is a lie. I know you were in China one summer, but I was there during 2000. I am pretty sure we went during different summers, and I know you went after me, so I think you were there in 2001.

4. Regarding Number 31: if this is true, then why haven't you finished Forget Me Not?

5. Regarding Number 37: Is Atchafalaya a word? I spent several seconds trying to sound it out.

6. I think that Number 49 is a lie.

7. Regarding Number 59: this was SO just included for the words NAKED and CHEETOS.

8. Number 70 also made me laugh out loud.

7:11 AM  
Amanda Sue said...

mmmmkay. i don't know you as well as people who "know" you, so i would just like to say, the tortilla in number 14 would have been corn.


7:47 AM  
Ben said...

I thought that number 32 was funny.
What dad makes his kid hold the hind lakes of rabbits while he chops their head off?

Also, I agree with Jes:
Naked and Cheetos were added for Shock value and because you like cheetos.

I too also laughed out loud a you being smuggled accross the border in a Large Flour Tortilla.

I too had a hard time sounding out "Atchafalaya"

I don't think you went to a Texas Woman's University... but then, I don't know you and Jes didn't even seem to blink at this one so maybe you did.

Did you watch the Movie Locust on Sunday night or was it too scary because you hate Grasshoppers? Is this why you didn't comment on my post yesterday?

I too am gifted at interior design... Sydney asks me to help pick out colors when we are choosing colors to paint a room.

7:54 AM  
Ben said...

Ummm... I mean Hind LEGS of rabbits.

7:55 AM  
Eddo said...

Jes - 49 is the truth, I would NEVER lie about such a sensitive subject - to lie about something like that would be sacreligous.

AH-CHA-FA-LIE-YAH - Achafalaya is a cajun word - google it, it is a Basin off of the mississippi river - it is also a restaurant.

You are so right about number 7!

I haven't finished Forget Me Not because I am TOO BUSY READING YOUR BLOG!!! Silly girl! Your the one that has "who needs books" on her website.

Number 70 was not meant to be funny... just fact.

7:58 AM  
Eddo said...

Ben - I went to Texas Women's University, that is way too simple to be a lie, I thought the lie's were pretty obvious... a tortilla? I was actually smuggled in the pouch of a kangaroo, but I knew no one would believe that.

8:01 AM  
Eddo said...

Okay, I just read through these and I think there are 6 lies.

And the lies are frighteningly obvious, which means a couple of things.

A. You guys don't know me all that well.
B. I am a terrific liar
C. You didn't really read all 100 things, rather you skimmed it for a few funny things and then quickly commented so that you could move on to a different blogger that wasn't so into themselvs.

I am on to you people, I am NO TO YOU! I know you are over at Ben's site, or Jes's site, or KT's or Genuines, but let me tell you this, they might be better than me, but no one, and I mean no one, will ever love you more than I do. I have nothing, nothing, nothing - if I don't have you.

8:12 AM  
SquareSlant said...

I'm rethinking our relationship if you did not like The Princess Bride...I am so hoping that was a lie!

8:34 AM  
Eddo said...

YEAH! SquareSlant you DO KNOW ME- The Princess Bride is my favorite movie of all times and I HATE - I HEART HUCKABEES.

Boo, Booooo.

8:35 AM  
jes said...

you are NO TO US?

8:42 AM  
Eddo said...

That was supposed to read I AM SO ON TO YOU!

I have no idea how it got all discombobulated.

8:49 AM  
Holly said...

Eddo This is Holly a friend of Jes I just have to comment on the follwing.

2. I am fanatical about spelling, I was blessed with an innate sense of spell
35. I like to use products from Bath and Body Works, but I never by them myself.

Tee hee I caught a spelling error!

8:56 AM  
Eddo said...

oooh, Holly, that was a good one, shows me that you were really paying attention. I have to point out that "by" is actually a word, and my error was homolytical in nature - this type of error is referred to as a malapropism.

I quite often use "your" where I need to use "you're", sometimes I get "their" and "there" mixed up when I am in a hurry, and now I will have to add "buy" and "by" to that list.

I bet Anne Fitten is going to notice this mistake too, she has an eye for that sort of error.

9:02 AM  
jes said...

none the less, eddo, it is TECHNICALLY a spelling error, since you misspelled the word according to its intended meaning.


eddie, did you change the 100 to 105, or can i just not read?

9:08 AM  
Eddo said...

The title has always been correct, however, the paragraph below the title is incorrect.

9:10 AM  
Edgy Mama said...

Crawling thirstily through the desert of no computers...tortillas? Eddie Vedder? Pleeeassseee. And yes, you rarely have spelling errors, but you occasionally leave off parts of words when you write too quickly (I have a feeling that you write as you speak). Who are these people who don't know Achafalaya? Looking forward to reading this list more carefully when my computer returns from the dead--sadly it has been more than three days.

9:35 AM  
jes said...

who IS eddie vedder?

9:48 AM  
Ben said...

Eddie Vedder... lead guitarist for Van Halen or some 80's rock band... I believe it was Van Halen... but I can't remember for sure.

11:02 AM  
Eddo said...

Yes, Ben - it was Van Halen, and he is one of the best guitarist ever - and I can't play at all.

11:40 AM  
Anonymous said...

Sorry fellas, Eddie Vedder was the lead singer for Pearl Jam. Eddie Van Halen was the guitarist for Van Halen.

11:50 AM  
Edgy Mama said...

WHAT? Eddie Vedder=Pearl Jam. I will be beating your hineys at Trivial Pursuit one day.

12:50 PM  
Holly said...

Thanks for the support Jes.

Eddo- I was aware that you used the incorrect version of by, buy. It was still a spelling error! Loved the list over all.

12:51 PM  
Katie said...

Jes and Ben must have stolen Eddie's childhood music collection since they know not of Eddie Veder, Eddie Van Halen, or Pearl Jam.

Katie shakes her head in disgust.

1:23 PM  
Katie said...

My guesses for the lies :


Score please sir.

1:26 PM  
Eddo said...

KT - you got 3 out of 6 - 14, 34, and 59. That means you got a 50. With the curve that brings your grade to a 75%, which in my class is an A, I plan to be a very lenient teacher.

Finally someone realized I would NEVER be a rodeo clown, I am NOT crazy. Bonus for being the first person to spot this one.

I am still a little disappointed that the two that I thought would be the most obvious other than #14 apparently aren't so obvious.

1:40 PM  
Tisha from Texas said...

Im not even guessing BUT what I do want to know is what part of Oklahoma? I am from the great state of OK, so we might know the same peeps.

9:06 PM  
Cookie723 said...

Howdy are my answers to which ones are your lies....
How close - come on -how close am I??

11:46 AM  
Eddo said...


Cookie, you don't even know me really and you got all the right answers! And then I realized that I have 7 lies, I don't have the Barbara Streisand or Cher CD collection! People, I am flamboyant and all, but come on, did you really think I could have those CD's in my collection?

12:33 PM  
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7:00 PM  

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