Try to run my mother over when she is bringing me home from breakfast- slow down you big baffoon!

So, I am trying to help you out, solve your problem, a problem I KNOW the answer too- however, you are too stupid to shut up long enough to let me get the complete answer out of my mouth before you start saying, "Nope, that doesn't work" "Typed that". You retard- if you will close your mouth and open in your ears for 3 seconds I can tell you the ending of the URL address is not .htm, but .asp and then when I do tell you that you are typing the wrong ending, don't act like I am the stupid one, or that the .asp ending is stupid- you are stupid, and your wife is stupid, and your children are probably stupid, and your little dog is stupid too!

Bark all night while I am trying to sleep.

Please do not poke your head into my cube, and for heavens sake, do not, I say it again, do NOT bring your entire body into my cube, it is not big enough for my big self and you. I need distance, I need space, and the 3 foot of space from the back of my chair to the entrance of my cube is just about the right amount of space.

Talk during the movie- Have I not said this enough? NO TALKING DURING THE MOVIE!

Customer Service me not

When I walk in, you better notice me, acknowledge me, offer me a seat, a smile, a drink- somethin' those people at Smart Looks in Denton be trippin. They think they some type of Toni and Guy, Neiman Marcus, Jose Eber type of place where they can treat you like a piece of trash. They glanced over at me, and acted like I was just a hot miserable breeze that blew in, and then they wanted me to sign in and take a seat, like I was some sort of paper you could just toss in an "IN" box. So, I just turned around and walked out, and then, I came to pro-cuts in Plano, and they offered me a coke, and the hair cut was twice as good and half the price- now that's customer service.

When I am wearing one of my favorite shirts, do not say- "Hey, did you just get in from bowling?" For some reason the first 500 times I heard that, I was like, "Ha, that's funny it does kinda look like a bowling shirt", but hearing it for the 501st time, not so funny anymore.